Coming Up for Air

I actually wrote a post last week, but I never published it because I was too emotional. October will be over in three hours. It has been a difficult month to say the least--and in some sense I can't really be sure about what lies ahead.

I never posted any pictures from Lachlan's fifth birthday. Yeah, way back in September. Here are the highlights:

All hail the "double mermaid cake"...

Obviously, a special request. I ordered the double mermaids from Amazon.com and now I receive weekly updates about other amazing Barbies that are available on the cheap.

We had to hurry up and get them out of the cake. These girls were a little top-heavy and they didn't want to stay perched atop their cake. Lachlan loved it and I was so relieved. I knew after creating Jack's dragon cake that I had probably dug my own grave as far as expectation levels were concerned. Jack is already requesting a volcano cake. Heaven help me.
Blowing out the candles, five-year-old style...notice the spit coming off her tongue. Yeah, none of us finished up a whole piece of cake.
Lachlan loves telling people that she is five. She told Jack that he could be five too, so now I am constantly explaining to people why I have two of the smallest children on the face of the earth.
She got a new "Charlie and Lola" doll. It's a talking doll. I thought she would like it, but she immediately flipped the doll over and turned her "off." I don't even ask anymore.
Lachlan had been telling us every day for the entire summer. "You know what? I would look really good on a pink Barbie scooter." "You know what would be so cool. Me on a Barbie scooter... with streamers." If any of the neighbor kids happened to set their scooters down she was like a thief in the night, swooping that scooter out from underneath them to take a ride down the block. Sometimes I wonder if her whole hearing loss thing isn't just a big farce--especially when you see her speeding away on someone else's toys just singing away without a care in the world. The kids just let her go because they are aware of her deviant ways. She was shaking when she opened that big box. She kept talking louder and louder. She told Jeff to "just rip the box open so that we can get it out!"
She drove around the kitchen until I feared for her life. Then we sent her out into the street to really break some bones...

Dear Lachlan,

I really hope that eventually you are a better driver in my car than you are while operating a scooter. I hope that you always hear your dad's voice yelling "look where you are going. Look in front of you. Don't try to drive while your head is looking behind you." Words to live by....

Mom

This next picture highlights Jack's bruised cheek. He fell on the curbing in the backyard. I don't know how he didn't knock out some teeth. The bruise is still there (a month later). In fact, now it appears that he has a big dimple forming in that spot. I'm not sure whether that's just a coincidence or whether he's just lost so much baby fat that he is starting to get some facial definition. He grew up so much this summer. He looks more and more like Jeff every day.
Lachlan also learned to ride her bike. It only took one night for her to pick it up without her training wheels. Once she learned she begged to ride until dark nearly every night.
Here she is on the first couple of trips. She was really into stiff-arming the bike on the right while leaning heavily to the left.
30 minutes later she had it figured out. The whole street was clapping!
On the last week of September, I picked three bushels of apples with Angie. We were overly ambitious and canned about 80 pints of applesauce and I don't even know how much apple butter. The apple butter was worth it, but I don't recommend making it indoors. The stuff should be made in a room that can be hosed down with a pressure washer. It was everywhere!

On the first of October, we did the applesauce, I got offered a new job and we said goodbye to Jeff's dad. Clair died early the next morning. I've actually been surprised by the things that I have thought about since his passing. The thing that will stay with me the most is an experience I had at the funeral. I sang with Jeff's cousin's wife. We were accompanied by a woman from their ward. After the funeral, I was speaking with her briefly before the graveside service. I must have thanked her a thousand times for her kindness and she took my arm and told me that she was very happy to do it. She told me that years ago Clair and Irene had been asked to take her autistic son to the church youth meetings. They magnified their calling in every way and helped her son feel loved and included. With tears in her eyes, she told me that being able to play for Clair's funeral had been an honor for her because of what he did for her boy.

I've thought so much about how thankless that job must have been. How I personally, would have probably disliked it--I hope I wouldn't have resented it, but maybe I would have felt that there were better ways to contribute. In some ways, just knowing that I might react like that is so shaming. Clair was a great man because he never sought for anything beyond what he was asked to do. And he never cared if anyone ever noticed or recognized him for it...except that there really were people who knew about how he served...those who truly appreciated it in ways that were beyond words.

When I look back at what I want my children to know about him and his life. Kids, this is what I want you to remember. There is so much of divinity in having humility that allows for a quiet, steady faith. People who look for a crowd to applaud their accomplishments will find just that--and it will be the only reward they have...sometimes the most significant triumphs you will ever have will only be known by you and the Spirit that confirms the peace you have when you do what it right.

The week of the funeral I found out that I was "a step away from Club Foot" and that I have some pretty severe nerve damage in my right leg. The good doctor got me set up with some physical therapy so that I "won't have to drag my leg when I'm 55." All of this good news, really helped me to feel super pretty, so that's good. I spent the other half of the time taking Ernst to the vet. He managed to nearly take out an eye which required massive antibiotic and steroid treatments every two hours DAY and NIGHT. The afternoon before the funeral I burst into tears in the vets office because I wasn't going to be able to give him all of the medical attention required (well, mostly it was because I was about one Zoloft away from being institutionalized). Dr. H, recognized my fragile state and offered to kennel Ernst for the weekend. Jeff actually prayed that Ernst would be given away in a random act of mercy--we can't catch a break with this cat.

Here's a good look at Ernst's million-dollar bionic eye:

The one on the left still has an ulceration. We are STILL putting drops in twice a day and we would love to know if anyone is interested in the world's most valuable cat. I can make you a deal. Like free.
My new job. Wow. This Tuesday will be my last day at Utah State University. I've been there 10 years. I go from melancholy to "take this job and shove it" about every other day. Over the past three weeks I've been to eight workshops and traveled from one end of the state to the other. Last week I finished my last workshop at SUU. My dear friend, Peggy, has worked with me since 1998! I couldn't even hold back the tears at the end of the seminar. I think about how many wonderful friends I've made--and the many things I have learned about being a great teacher. I feel so blessed to have had this experience.

I also feel that it is time to move on--I've accepted a job as an educational specialist with the National Gardening Association. They're based out of Burlington, VT. I will be able to work part-time from home. I'll be writing everything from educational curriculum for school gardens to magazine articles for home gardeners. It is going to be a challenge for a while, but I am very excited and have been so warmly welcomed. Go check out their website http://www.garden.org

They are one of the premiere gardening resources for educational and instructional materials. I've been reviewing and using their stuff for years so I feel like this will be a good fit for me. Not to mention the kids...no more babysitters/nannies. This is a big step. I'm going to cross my fingers and see if we can make this work.

My first project was writing a gardening instructional unit for the Muhammad Ali Center Peace Gardens Project. I had to write it in the evenings and over the weekend--but I did it. Yeah, me!

So let's see, what else have I missed...oh, yeah, I got called to be the Young Women's Camp Director. Oh, and I got to sing with the choir that honored the works of Mack Wilberg. He was a guest conductor. It was one of the small highlights in my life. We sang songs that I have waited my whole life to sing like that--there really aren't words. None. Oh, and we found out that Lachlan is seriously farsighted. And Jeff and I learned that we are turd parents because she can't even see the hand in front of her face. She picked out two pairs of glasses. They have to be "special ordered" because they don't make frames that small (except maybe for babies who wear the elastic headband to keep them on...and my pride wasn't going to allow for that).

Oh, yeah, I almost forgot Halloween. Lachlan has talked all summer about being the Statue of Liberty for Halloween. She was so excited. I made her costume the night before out of an old bedsheet and about 2 tons of hot glue...hey, I can really come through when the chips are down.

And glitter spray. Lots of glitter spray.
This year we held our own "Rally to Restore Sanity" by standing for truth, justice and the American way. Amen, and remember to vote for Coroon.
Jack is the dark knight, Batman. Here he displays his "moves." You don't mess with the moves.
Can you see the fire in his eyes?
I'm glad that Halloween is over. I'm really tired of the "scary dreams" in the middle of the night. Lately we've had everything from creepy tornadoes with scary faces to whistling noises made by ghosts. Goodbye to you Halloween. Bring on the sleepless nights filled with happy turkeys.
I don't understand the fascination with the sucker. It's always what he goes for first. Yuck.

Waiting for the trick or treat(ors) and keeping out of the rain. Yeah, we rocked the 5PM trick/treat time slot this year. Hey, what do you expect from a lady with a club foot and a bad back?

The Polls Are Now Open

I'm trying out some new software for work and thought that it might be fun to try it out here.

The question is "What would you like to know about me?"

All you need to do is text to 22333 and then in the message type the number 111589 and then your question. I'll keep up the poll for a couple of days and see what you would like to know--unless a bunch of nasty crap goes up then I'll have to take it down. You can also click on the links and go directly to the website and vote from there as well (using the same numbers).

Yeah, for fun technology.

Last Night

I didn't get home from work until 6PM. The kids were outside riding bikes with Skye in the driveway. Lately our neighborhood has been filled with children from 4-8PM every night. They go from house to house and visit, ride bikes, hunt for caterpillars, wrestle. The kids love it. They choke down their dinner so that they can get out with their friends.

Well, when I got home I left the garage door open so that I could hear them in the driveway. About 15 minutes later I was chopping through a zucchini, when I realized that I couldn't hear them anymore. I could see that Jack's push tractor had been ditched across the street and he was no where to be seen. I called, and called, and called...nothing. So I went across the street and started to hunt him down. I found him over on the neighbor's trampoline. I told him that he needed to come home because he didn't ask permission to cross the street and that he was in a bit of trouble because he knows that he needs to ask before leaving our yard.

Blah, blah, blah....that's what he was hearing. I proceeded to tell him that it is "scary for mommies when they don't know where their kids are--or when kids cross the street without help." He just stood there looking at me, trying to tell me that he "was just with his friends, that he loves his friends".

I finally raised my voice and said, "don't do it again! Ask permission!"

He started to bawl. Big fat tears. He was standing right next to the couch. I want to remember that moment because he was only as tall as the top of it. He was filthy dirty--sidewalk chalk on his hands, grape juice ring around his mouth, dried snot under his nose, shirt covered with whatever he ate for lunch.

Through all of those tears, he looked at me and said, "but I'm only trying to learn. I'm learning to be a big kid friend." His voice cracked a little with the sincerity of the moment.

And it really felt like the world just stopped for a minute.

Because I forget that he is just learning. Learning things for the first time. Discovering independence. Exploring his boundaries.

We are learning together.

He is a great teacher.

Easy Rider

Last night Lachlan learned to ride a bike without her training wheels and Jeff learned that he can run a 5K in his jeans and hiking boots. Video coming soon....

The Lion King

I've always enjoyed movies and theatre, but there isn't anything like going with your children. When you see it through their eyes and their excitement--it's so much better. Jack sat on the edge of his chair the whole time. He ate a bag of chocolate-covered raisins by the handful at intermission and then proceeded to eat the rest of my mixed nuts. Lachlan loved it until the steam jets shot out of the stage and the fake thunder and strobe lights threatened to overtake the audience--then she immediately declared that she did not like the Lion King and wished to leave. The whole way home she kept asking if the animals were real...maybe a little too real?

I loved it. The creativity of such a production astounds me. Wow.

JCM

"Seriously, I'm trying to watch Scooby Doo."

An Attempt

Our Family. September 11, 2010.

The date seems significant now that I type it, but it wasn't intended to be...I just wanted to document us growing older together.

Jack, aged three point five

Lachlan, aged five (this Sunday)

Labor-Free Picnic

This summer marked the seventh year that we have lived in our home. I distinctly remember buying that home and telling Jeff, "five years, tops," and then proceeding to make a list of all the things that HAD to change if I were to reside there for any length of time. I'll save you the details of that list, but it will suffice to say that I only fixed about half of them.

A sense of place is important to me. In fact, I honestly believe that it is critically important to most people if they would simply take the time to acknowledge or discover what that even means. I still don't love everything about the house (bathroom cabinets and shelves, I'm looking at you) and sometimes it can be difficult to keep your mouth shut when it comes to your neighbors (don't deny it) BUT overall, I feel connected to this place.

This place is where we belong, as a family...and I'm absolutely sure of that.

On Labor Day we had a picnic with our "extended family" at the Seamon's house. A sense of place gives you a feeling of wholeness and that is exactly how I felt--it was wonderful. I hope Jack and Lachlan grow up with an understanding that finding out who you are can be a great reflection of who and what you have known. These are some of the people who have made me a better person. I hope that you will recognize their influence in your life as well.

Hannah and Kenzie
Hubba, although, most of the work is done by her amazing foster family!
Shari...and her big cup.
How can you not love this child?
Angie, who is my canning partner-in-crime. I'd take a bullet for her just for the simple fact that she loves to experiment with bottled foods...and Travis because he eats it (most of the time).
E & E--I can't get enough of them. They are social heroin.
Our hostess and my new tennis partner!

Okay, so I didn't get pictures of everyone...but they were there and I will remember it.

Postscript: Jack ate four-FOUR cob-on-the-corns (that's what he calls it) at the party. The kid loves corn. The End.

Two Horses and a Liar

I remember the first time I watched the "Black Stallion". Oh, how I loved Alec--and even more than that, how much he loved that horse. Hey, it will never be said that I wasn't a sucker for animal stories. This past week I read the "Black Stallion" by Walter Farley. It is an amazing book. It's not a Newbery winner or honor, but I needed some horse reference books for work and I hadn't ever read the book. Honestly, I'm surprised that it isn't in the Newbery family. I would absolutely recommend this book as a family read-aloud. I can't wait to read it to my kids. They are still a bit young to understand, but I think that they will both love it. In the meantime, I may go check out the movie from the library. I could use a little Mickey Rooney this week.

In complete contrast to "The Black," is "Black Beauty". Anna Sewell quite possibly may be the first animal rights author. Hey, I'm no fan of animal abuse, but this book almost killed me to finish. I reached the three-quarter mark and I really had to make a tough call about whether or not I had the endurance to even finish the book. I put my head down and powered through, but it was not a pleasant experience. As a general rule, the anthropomorphism of animals doesn't get to me, but this book was written entirely from "Beauty's" perspective and I just couldn't engage with the lifeless accounting. I will also mention that Sewell was a MAJOR proponent of prohibition at the time of her writing and so basically if you even smell liquor you will begin to "beat a horse swiftly about the head"-- makes me tired just thinking about this book.

And last, but not least, Lily's Crossing. I am a huge fan of the author. This is probably my least favorite of her works, but it is a Newbery winner and therefore, is obviously well-written. This book has a great moral of the story type of feel to it. It's also a good read for kids who struggle with honesty or who have a hard time seeing the effects of their seemingly innocent actions.