Thursday, November 21, 2013

Weekly Roundup

1. I am so glad tomorrow is Friday. I have much to do to get ready for the holidays. There are several lists of items and projects. Fridays mean that I can stay up late and work without worrying about dealing with an early school morning. It also means that I'll have Jack and Lachlan to run interference with Louisa in the afternoon. You've got to have eyes on her at all times or she'll rob a bank or find some RIT dye.

2. I cannot stop thinking about this:
My friend at our agency posted this announcement:
Help remove the rock from my stomach. We have a talented, smart, helpful, and responsible 14 year old girl in our CHI European program who makes me worried sick. You can contact me for a picture but believe me she is an amazing beauty. She has done nothing to make me worry, its what will likely happen to her that has me so unnerved. We know what will be ahead for this attractive girl if she doesn't get a family. Please contact me or Nina Thompson for more information. This truly is about her very ability to use the gifts she has been born with.


Then I read Nina's personal response:
Least of all those of us with teenage boys and girls.  It is not just the girls who are at risk.  In some countries in Eastern Europe the largest export is human beings.  The sex trade is a billion dollar industry.  Children who have no families are at high risk for exploitation.  Not just teens, children. Children “go missing” from the orphanages.  Most commonly these children are lured, sold or forced into the sex trade.  Pimps are sometimes informed by unethical orphanage staff when a child is “aging out” and they wait to pick the child up outside the doors of the orphanage.  Children and teens are sold for as little as $1500.  Knowing this is a crushing weight to my soul.   Human life is held very cheaply.
I read the profiles of young teens every week that say how bright they are.  How they excel in Math.  How they love to dance.  How they want to be a teacher, a doctor, a psychologist.  And all I can think is there are few families for young teens.  I dread knowing that if this young girl or boy is not adopted, that the small spark of hope is likely to be crushed.  10-15% will commit suicide by the time they are 18.  60% will end up in prostitution.
Her full text: Hard Questions
Don't I know someone who could adopt her? I'd bet money that this child is from Ukraine. I could be totally wrong, but the shoe fits.
I want the church to get involved in international adoption so badly that it hurts. It makes sense. Would there be enormous obstacles? Absolutely, but that never held it back before. There has to be a better way to get more people involved in understanding that adoption is missionary work and the most incredible way for one to experience how and why the family is central to God's plan of salvation.

You know what church calling I really want? The one where I work with women and children all over the world to set up legal adoptions for LDS families. The one where I work at a women and children support center and it's staffed by missionaries and ward/branch members to help these women get proper education and support so that they feel like they are a part of something bigger than themselves--complete with health care, pre/post-natal care, mental health classes, addiction recovery.

Would it be possible to foster some of these young girls who have aged out in homes in the U.S.? Where families agree to help them get more education, provide a home?

Can you imagine the impact this would have on communities? On the stability of children within single-parent families?

As soon as I write it down I can see a hundred reasons why it wouldn't work.

...but I'm going to wait for the phone to ring anyway.

And, this article will make you even more grateful for the peace in your home:
Rescued From Exploitation
This, this, this...people can't believe that this is possible "When I was sixteen, I met some Mormon kids. The Mormon families were so different from the way I was raised. I was raised in these homes and neighborhoods where there was lots of abuse. To meet all these LDS families where you walk in their home and there’s a piano, and above it is a picture of the Savior with little kids–it’s the most heart-warming thing. And there’s a mom and a dad, and they like each other, and they make jokes and tickle each other and kiss! I was like, whoa, is this for real? " 

3. Crockpot lasagna is awesome.
4. I finally ate a good meal at Herm's--people rave about it and I apparently just needed to order something different than what I had the first time. I visited with two good friends about aura colors. Scientifically, I am intrigued by how the colors change and what they may tell us about how the body is functioning. I have to admit I would love to have a reading. I think it would be fascinating.
5. Against my better judgment I am finding that the articles in the BYU Magazine are really good. In fact, for several months now I have read them cover to cover--with the exception of the "jokester-super-funny" mail-in stories on the next to the last page. I have my standards. This last month contained an article by a math professor, Tyler Jarvis. I used the first part about the Traveling Salesman Problem in my lesson on Sunday. NEVER even knew this was a real problem--those numbers? The cost? Holy crap. This is a must read. "That's How the Light Gets In"
6. Also this week, Lachlan learned that if you haven't pooped for a week that it will give you a horrible stomach ache (we almost went to the ER for suspected appendicitis before discovering the real problem) AND Jack found the courage to join some boys who were learning to play basketball. He told me tonight that he was going to try really hard to learn to bounce the ball. Oh, and Louisa is going back to preschool--this time with the Little Aggies at the CPD on campus. Her teacher was nice enough not to actually say the word tyrant on the first day. So that was good.

Saturday, November 16, 2013

How Far We've Come

Five or six years ago I created this adoption video for my dad. It chronicles the trip that he, Susan (my sister), and my aunt Merrilee (dad's sister) took with Jeff to go pick up Lachlan. They went a week before Jeff, to Beijing, on a sightseeing tour and then met him in Nanchang. It was a blessing they were there before him because he missed his flight and arrived a full day later than planned. In the movie, you'll see that Lachlan was delivered to Susie and Merrilee's hotel room. I recently had Susie write a letter of her experience for Lachlan's personal history. I'm recording a small portion of it here, not only for the context of this movie, but also because our current experience with Louisa has been so incredibly different.
From Susie's journal:
"She pretty much just cried that first night, and I just cried right along with her, I felt so bad for her. I told her to just go ahead and cry it all out. I told her she had a hard and lonely life up to this point and if she wanted to cry to just go ahead and get it all out. I promised her that she didn't have to be sad or lonely anymore. I promised her that she was going to be loved for the rest of her life. So we just cried.
Jeff wanted me to write down Lachlan’s condition when we first received her. This is very difficult for me, because I had Sierra at home and I knew what a healthy child looks and acts like. She was very bundled up, she was wearing about four layers and she was so sweaty. She was soaking wet not just from sweat, but her poor diaper was dripping…I don’t think the Chinese were very used to diapers because all the children usually wear split pants. Her cheeks were so chappy. I was worried about them because they were dry and cracked open. She was very small and malnourished, I think because I could actually see her pulse in the soft spot on her head. She was also very dirty, her main parts were clean, but the first thing I had to do was get a Q-tip and clean her ears out!!  Also, her belly button was really dirty!
Later, Aunt Merrilee and I gave her a bath. We brushed her teeth…her poor little teeth!  I don’t think there is any enamel left on them and they are broken. You can just see the cavities!  I had a very hard time after we brushed her teeth, because I just felt like this little tiny girl needed us SO BAD!  She needed someone to come and take care of her and love her. I was so glad to be there for her."
In Mormon culture, there's recognition with the phrase "the light of Christ in your countenance"--I've seen people with that light, and without. I've come to recognize that a significant portion of His light comes from the strength of the family, the love of one's family. Which makes sense because the teachings of Christ lead us to the knowledge that we are God's children and that we are meant to learn and love one another in families, through families--and AS a global, multinational, inside, upside, all-of-us-together-kind of family.

The best part about getting older is understanding that no one's family is doing it right all the time. Life is a paradox--where two opposites can exist in the same place at the same time. For example, you can love your kids AND they make you crazy. Or you try hard to consistently set a good example AND occasionally you have the bad swears because you spilled a 32 oz. Diet Coke in the passenger seat. It's life. It's the paradox.

What I think we need to look for, instead of what we don't see in our families (i.e., perfection), is the light. The improvement.

Go back. Look at where you've been and how far you've come.

Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in
--Leonard Cohen "Anthem"

Now go watch this awesome movie: http://youtu.be/p_rdguqyemw