Lachlan's First Bike Ride

The Winners & Losers

We got a new tree for the backyard. I am so excited. It was so big that we had it delivered and it took both Jeff and I about two hours to get it in the ground properly. I can't wait until we have some shade. We hadn't planned to put in another big tree, but the heat gets so intense in the backyard that we don't think that we can stand it. Grow little tree!

I found these beautiful peonies at Costco. The little gravestones are actually peonie bulbs-also a Costco purchase. I guess we'll see which ones work out best.

My lettuce! It grows! I also have radish seedlings! A miracle.

Speaking of miracles, check out this Hosta that came back from last year. The winter was so harsh--I couldn't believe it, but it is actually going to flourish. Glory be!

My herb garden. With the new basil plants...

Tomatoes, onions, peppers, radishes, dill...bring on the sunshine.
And now the losers...my kitchen at 7:30PM on Saturday. Hello, this is a job that requires the rubber gloves and Lysol. Where are the Merry Maids when you need them??

Four Word Sentence

"I have stained teeth"
Hey, think what you want, but Lachlan said her first four word sentence this weekend. We couldn't be prouder. Granted, it could have been more positive...this whole thing is Jeff's fault. Lachlan overheard him ask me why her caps were stained. I replied that they weren't stained it was just some tarter that makes them slightly discolored in places (she has a dentist appointment coming up). She immediately looked at her father and said with perfect clarity (while holding up her lip so that he could get a good look at her teeth) "Teeth, stained!" When she woke up the next morning she said, "Where daddy go? Teeth stained!" If you ask her about her teeth she will tell you with intense pride that they are "Stained!"

A Day In The Life of a Toddler

Actually, the day started off with a kitchen full of ants. I can't imagine why we didn't have every insect for a thousand miles. We have been working to finish a few things outside and we failed to get the floor swept after dinner (see horrible kitchen picture). This photo speaks to the filth left after one meal. The ants were very lucky-some of this food was already chewed up for them!

Now we can move on to the "I found an old toothbrush and an open toilet bowl" Oh, yeah, the kid was brushing his teeth when I found him. I have become beyond fanatical about keeping the toilet lid shut. You now know why--I never thought that I would have to fish legos out of the toilet before using it.

For his third act, the destruction of a half box of tampons. Followed by "Where Ernie go?" "Ernie horse, cat horse"-yeah, he thinks that Ernie can be ridden like a horse. Ernie, however, disagrees. The cat paw to the eyeball says a lot.
"Bye, Bye" "Bye, Bye, mama" He is just tall enough to sit on the bottom shelf of the fridge and grab the ketchup bottle to close the door. I don't know where he thinks he is going, but it must be somewhere fantastic because he visits the inside of our fridge every day.
Okay, so the little gutter rat has a partner in crime. And actually, Lachlan grossed me out more because she found an old kleenex and "did her hair" with it. Who's kleenex? Only the good Lord knows. I literally dry heaved when I took it from her hand and threw it into the street.

I didn't save the best/worst for last on purpose. It just happened later in the day. I put out some cold pancakes for the chickens. BIG MISTAKE. Not that the chickens didn't eat them, I just put out too many and guess who showed up...yup, our good old ant friends who didn't get enough breakfast in the kitchen. Just for the record, I HATE ants. I HATE them. I get the creepy crawlies just thinking about them. Well, apparently, Jack feels differently because while I was putting some seeds in the ground he found his way to the cold pancakes covered with ants and helped himself to a big mouthful. To say that I FREAKED out is putting it mildly. I practically drowned him while rinsing his mouth out with the hose. The whole time I was totally dry heaving, gagging--oh, it was bad. I had to go inside and wash my hands and face just to get the feel of the ants off of my skin. They were climbing on his legs and feet. One of the worst experiences of my life!!

So Erica is having twin boys, yeah, good luck with that...

The Garden is In, Finally

Okay, so my last post stated that it was still snowing two weeks ago--now we have moved into "burn the skin off of your body" phase. Whatever happened to the beautiful 70 degree weather?? At any rate, I planted the garden. We started off with three tomato plants--we now have nine (plus, maybe a few more). I really don't know what happened there. I suppose subconsciously I was preparing for the loss of some plants. Jeff got the last of the drip line connected last night. Planting the garden was exhausting and I am praying that we will move into a lower maintainence period. Here are just a few of the mishaps:

• Jack helped out by removing all of the tops of the basil plants so I guess that I will have to pick up a few more this afternoon.
• He then got both feet stuck in a giant mud puddle, which caused him to fall down and roll around until he was covered. I had to spray him off with the jet sprayer to get it all off.
• Lachlan got caught in the mud puddle and screamed like she had fallen into quick sand. I was able to rush over before she fell, but she refused to wear her shoes after the incident (guilt by association).
• Jack got a hold of the pruners and pruned a chunk of skin out of his stomach and ripped a hole in his shirt. Yeah, it looked as bad as it sounds.
• Jack fell off the back steps
• Jack crawled into the chicken coop and ate three handfuls of "layer feed".
• Jack and Lachlan played in the chicken water and Lachlan "did her hair" (see earlier entries for hair details).
• I probably said, "Shit" over a thousand times and "Son of a Bitch" at least a dozen. Good thing all the neighbors were out working in their yards too.
• The cat jumped up in one of our new trees and broke two of the main branches. Now the tree is completely lopsided. The cat could care less. It remains alive only because I'm not sure which one of them did it--there is a reward for information leading to the prosecution/death of this animal.

The good news is that I didn't even break one nail. That I probably won't ever be given another church job. And that I only smacked Jack on his backside with the "smaller" shovel only once.

If I Could Change A Few Things

Don't get me wrong. I love this valley...obviously, I moved here 18 years ago and I haven't left yet (holy crap, did I just write 18!!). Anyway, as I drove to work this morning in a COMPLETE BLIZZARD I have decided to list the Top 10 things that I would change--

1. Okay, so snow on May 1st has to go...rain is fine, but you've got to draw the line somewhere!
2. A Target Superstore. Hell, I'd even settle for the "un-superstore". Target management are you reading this blog.
3. An HOV lane on Main Street.
4. A bike lane on Main Steet.
5. City prices for fuel. (it was $3.58 for regular this morning and $4.59 for diesel--aauuggh)
6. A Costco (okay, I'm not a huge fan of the big box stores, but I am really tired of having to shop with Sam Walton for all of our daily supplies!)
7. More democrats (a lot more)
8. Speed bumps in my cul de sac (you wouldn't think that folks could speed in a circle??)
9. That I could get a library card at the library 5 miles from my house rather than having to go to one that is 15 miles away!
10. (and just for you babe....) Jeff really wants a Gold's Gym.