Our Forever Family Day

 On September 21, 2013 we celebrated Lachlan's baptism and Louisa's sealing and blessing.

 We started the day with a family photo shoot. I am so in love with how these pictures came together. I'm also glad that there were a few flowers from the summer still hanging on--it makes it look so lovely.

 Lachlan's new scriptures. She is such a good girl. We were so proud of her on her big day.

 Jeff baptized and confirmed her. President Low said that he had never seen so many people to attend a baptism. We were surrounded by wonderful family and friends. Jeff blessed Lachlan that she would continue to learn and grow, to love school, and prepare to serve a mission and have a family.

 Jack looks so grown up in this picture. I don't love that...

 Oh, my handsome boy. He looks so much like Jeff did when he was this age. I hate to see him start to lose all of his little boy features.

 Louisa was blessed after Lachlan's confirmation. Jeff blessed her with health and strength, that she would know she was a part of our family and we love her, that she would love school and love to learn, and that she would prepare to serve a mission. Bishop Sanders held her in his arms during the blessing and afterward she just wanted to be held and hugged by him.

 We were sealed late in the afternoon by our friend, Steve Karren. All of the kids were able to be there with us as we listened to Steve speak to our family. It was a great experience. Louisa didn't cry, she was so good. I don't have any memories of Lachlan's sealing (thank you postpartum depression) so most of the afternoon I kept asking Jeff if it was like this when we were with Lachlan. I'm so grateful to have this day to reflect and remember.

We had SO many friends with us--I am so grateful for each of you. It was a wonderfully perfect day. It's hard to process what all of it will mean for our family in the years to come.

Labor Day Camping

A glorious trip to the top of the ranch over Labor Day.

 With these people.

 I love this face.

We had a little tent trailer so we didn't have to sleep in a tent.
We should have brought a pressure sprayer for this kid.

 Jack has the booger-iest nose I have ever seen. It makes me crazy because he is in constant need of a good blow and/or wipe down. Also, for the record, he can get this dirty just playing in the backyard. I had to make an actual rule this summer that he wasn't supposed to hang out inside the chicken coop. The coop. Where they lay eggs and sleep. And poop.

 And son, this is what you look like when you eat. All. the. time.

It is fun to watch you play with Chris. You have the same types of imagination and you raced up this hill for hours.

 We shot boxes of skeet. I was 17/20 on my shotgun. I even hit a couple with a quick reload.

 Jack says, "I don't even know what I'm shooting at..."

 I quite enjoy target shooting. 10/10. I didn't think that I hit one of the targets, but when I got up close I saw that it didn't move because I had given such a clean shot. Yay, mom. Jack hunted down all of the missed clays and took them for show and tell the next Tuesday. He did not enjoy shooting, but he did like the bright colored disks.

On the way up Jack asked how many times Louisa went camping in China. He couldn't believe that she hadn't ever been camping before...he asked quite a few times if we thought that she was having fun on her first camping trip.

I'll let you be the judge.

 It's probably 7:30 in the morning and she is filthy. Absolutely filthy...and covered in pancake syrup. So happy.

We did some great family walks/hikes. She almost fell asleep while resting on daddy's head.

 There is actually video to accompany this debacle. It's a level of disgust that has no words for this mother who watched her children crawl on all fours across a cattle guard. If you would have told me that at some point I would witness such "city-fied" behavior. Goodness.

 So I took them over and showed them what happens in the squeeze chute. I don't think that any of them believe that I am capable of operating any of these tools.

I told Jack to pretend he was a cow so that he could get a better idea of how it works. Lachlan said, "Dad, did you know that mom could shoot a gun and squeeze a cow? Maybe you should know that she can do this stuff."

Tomorrow is Two Months

This is Sunday morning, the day after returning from Guangzhou, China. Yeah, I went for the matching dresses--it had to be done. It's actually a good thing that I purchased it in advance because she really didn't have anything to wear except the stuff she had been wearing in China for two weeks. And for the record, our luggage reeked. R-uh-eeked. Looking back, I thought that I had been so clever because when we landed in L.A. the night before flying home I left all of my clothes hanging out on the outside guinea pig cage at Sara's house. I thought that the good American fresh air would eliminate some of the hot garbage/Bruce Lee's Noodles and Mystery Meatballs smell from them. I remembered to ask Carrie just last week if we smelled funny when we got off the plane and she said, "You guys smelled like the Sunshine Terrace on a laundry strike."

Us, at the airport, stinking it up.

So much for last-ditch cleverness.

I also found out that using onesies with a potty-trained two-year-old is a pain in the butt. They are just the right size for a quick t-shirt, but when you gotta go timing is everything. Needless to say, she's only been in a onesie a couple of times since we've been home. There was one day when I just failed to dress her completely and we told her it was Spring Break. But honestly, I've tried to keep it together with our schedule.

School starting was absolutely heaven-sent. You cannot believe what a difference it has made in our ability to cope with having a new family member. We all spent a couple of weeks feeling like we were babysitting a really naughty relative. There was definitely a feeling of complete and utter paranoia when she was out of your sight. Walls and doors were drawn on (there are only a few who will understand that this simply doesn't happen at the Murray house). Cupboards were emptied, toys broken, books ripped--I was taking Vallium. And the stairs...holy Moses, there were several days when I lived in terror that she would just keep running straight down the stairs to her death. She finally mastered going down on her tummy after watching Harper go down the stairs at Aunt Susie's house.

If I had to describe Louisa Jane in one word it would be: INDEPENDENT

Last week we had a meeting with the Up to 3 counselors to discuss her specific needs and define a plan of action to get her on target. She is only scoring in the 5% for speech and language development, although there is some discrepancy because we think she is saying some of her words in Cantonese. She only qualifies in needs for speech, there are no other significant delays in coordination, movement, social expression, eating...the list usually goes on (and it did when we tested Lachlan at this age). Louisa scored 130% in self help. You think I'm kidding when I say that at two and a half she can feed herself with a fork and spoon, put her shoes on, go potty (complete with wiping--although, we are asking her to tell us to do it), she likes to sweep the kitchen floor, make her bed, and will vacuum anything if you turn your back and it's plugged in. Her life has been centered completely upon the concept that if you are remotely capable of doing it by yourself then that is the expectation; the situation being that you don't get a drink or go to the bathroom if you don't do it yourself.

So what has she never learned to do?
Share.
Say your sorry.
Wait your turn.
Touch an animal or be in the house with an animal.
Buckle up.
Swing on the swings.
Ride a bike.
Pray.

Ahh, writing this list makes me so emotional...I wish so badly that everyone could have been there the first time she said a prayer. We were sitting up to the bar for dinner--Jeff wasn't even home yet! I was so tired, I think we were having fish sticks--seriously, am I the only who still serves actual fish sticks? Probably! Just out of the blue I looked at Lou and asked her if she wanted to say the prayer--she always nods back kind of crazy-like with those white (I call them Edward Cullen) teeth. So we work through the dinner prayer and she mimics what I say and at the end the kids and I were just dumb-struck and filled completely with the Spirit! No one could even say anything--it was amazing. Jack finally said, "That was SO cute! She just did it Mom. She prayed her first prayer!" I had to walk away so that the tears could fall unnoticed.

A hundred mistakes and one moment of bliss. This is life, right?

We've had blood drawn--three times. She needs a whole round of vaccinations, but I'm losing my stomach for more needles after sitting with her during the blood draws. There have been several miracles with her medical tests. When we left China the medical office told us that she was still testing positive for syphilis; we had decided to just move ahead and deal with it when we got home. My confidence in the Chinese ability to competently handle any medical test or information is about a negative zero, but it was still a worry and I had prayed several times that we would be able to deal with whatever lay ahead. To our great relief, all of her tests have shown that she is negative for syphilis. She needs some vaccination boosters, but there isn't anything life threatening or which should diminish her ability to progress and excel.

She likes to sing songs, Frere Jacque. In French, which is how I sing it to her, it is a song about "morning bells are ringing". Jack and Lachlan sing a Chinese version about a tiger but it is the same tune. She also knows Twinkle, Twinkle--oh, and our family also learned "The Family is of God" to sing as a musical number in Sacrament Meeting. She loves singing along with us and often sings the chorus throughout the day as she is trolling about for something to draw on or hide in her purse.

 Lou went to preschool for two weeks...and then she got kicked out for delinquent behavior. She's a preschool dropout. Seriously, she just isn't ready for it. She won't be three until January so we have plenty of time to get it figured out. Miss Jenny is a saint for trying it for a couple of weeks. Mostly Lou wanted to wear her backpack and use the preschool potty the whole time--

 The question I get the most is: How are Jack and Lachlan adjusting to having Louisa in the family?
Well, the first month was really rough. I had to have LOTS of conversations with them about how Louisa is NOT in charge. She really came into the house barking orders and trying to manipulate every situation. Not really a shocker, but difficult for J/L to figure out. At one point, I told Lachlan, "if she pushes you down and steps on you give her a little shove and let her know that you aren't going to be treated like that! Don't just lay there and try to use your words. She's two, she doesn't give a rip about your words!" Not my best parenting moment, but we worked hard on "being a big brother/sister", "being in charge--but not the boss". Lou isn't exactly one to just do what she's told, obedience not really a high priority. Louisa has also spent her fair share of time "on the chair". We knew exactly the moment she understood what timeout was all about because she started screaming like a wild animal at the top of her lungs--it was the typical crying, but no tears. We're to the point now where I can tell her that she can make a good choice or go to the chair and she changes her tune pretty quick. There were times when I wondered if she would ever figure out how to say she was sorry. I am 100% confident that this concept had NEVER been presented to her.

I don't know if other adopted parents have ever found themselves talking out loud to the great silence saying things like, "what the hell were those people doing in that place??" I definitely have vacillated between feeling grateful for the love they showed her and hating them for doing so little. I remember being really angry for a while with Lachlan's caretakers. Her situation was completely different and I still stand by the notion that they were negligent--but adoption is hard because there are big chunks of life that are out of your control and you are left to deal with the consequences for better or for worse.

My girls are tough. They're fighters and I believe it's that fight that's kept them alive and functioning socially. It's also the fight that makes them stubborn.

She's cute but she can be a tyrant.

She has an underbite.
She loves to drink milk.
She can eat a whole package of Ramen Noodles.
She likes lasagna, Club crackers, pancakes, french fries, potato chips...she once ate a half bag of Sweet Chili Doritos.
She likes to split a package of seaweed with Lachlan.
She called Lachlan, Lolo--just like Jack did when he was her age. It sounds like "NoNo"
She always thanks Jeff in Chinese.

For the first month she called Jeff, Mom and I was Big Sister.
She loves the water. She likes to take her time in the shower.
She hates television.
She likes to dance to music and pretend to play the piano.
She loves to feed the cat. I always tell her that Bruce is full. She signs back, full, and nods and nods, but still feeds him anyway when I'm not looking.
She loves to "go, go, go"--every morning after everyone goes to school she brings me my shoes and tells me it's time to go on a walk with the stroller.
She likes to travel with a purse and "baby fox".

 So proud of our Little Aggies.

 Lachlan goes to 2nd Grade

 Jack goes to 1st Grade

Jack was still nervous on the first day. They are both off to a great start. I'm so grateful for this good school. The best part is that I have a new office right across the street! I can look out my window and see Jack's classroom. I love being close enough to go to lunch with them or volunteer in the classroom.