Happy Buddha

We are getting a few reports from the Beijing travelers. It is good news. They are having a wonderful time. It seems that they are just traveling together with their tour guide so they really have one-on-one attention. They were able to visit an elementary school and play with the kids and also have lunch with a Chinese family. I can't wait to hear about their experiences. I keep waiting for someone to send an email, but perhaps they have been too busy or they just haven't figured out the hotel amenities. It will be better once Jeff arrives on Sunday-he is going to take his laptop and actually send some posts. I have to say that my favorite comment from Susan is that the tour guide calls dad the "Happy Buddha" and that she rubs his belly in the morning before they head out on their excursions. Seriously, I think that it is so funny and perfect for dad--he is probably genuinely flattered! :)

As for the home front, well, there isn't much to tell because I feel like I never leave the house. I feed the baby, "pump" (Sara, you can tell Tyler that Aunt Rose now "pumps"), wash bottles, change a diaper, take naps and take my painkillers. I do this repeatedly, day after day, after day. I can't believe how rigorous the schedule feels sometimes. I am truly amazed at how stressed out I can feel by just adding in a load of laundry and walking out to the mailbox. Jeff and I haven't even started packing the bags for him to leave on Friday morning. I think that there is a lot of anxiety surrounding the actual "leaving". We are both nervous and the fatigue only makes it that much harder to get your imagination under control.

The pic is daddy burping Jack last Saturday. We hadn't ever put any clothes on him before because he had to be on the BiliBed (UV lights). Babies wearing clothes is overrated. It is much more difficult to change them with so many layers of "snapped-up bottoms".

Goodbye, and Good Luck

Despite a fog delay at SLC International, the "family" is on their way to Beijing. I wasn't sure whether they would make their connection out of Minneapolis to Tokyo, but it seems that luck was on their side. The plane was actually waiting for them to board when they arrived. I am so excited for them. I hope that they are able to find their tour guides when they arrive tomorrow--I'm sure that it will be a great trip. Other adoptive families have nothing but good to say about this tour company.

I must admit that I am so relieved that Jeff isn't on board with them. I really need another week to take in all the adjustment. Jack did not sleep well last night and I finally gave in and let him sleep on my chest while I endured the Lazy Boy chair. Sometimes you even break your own rules when you haven't had any sleep for a week. I just keep repeating, "must not fall into accidental parenting"...oh, Jim Fay and Foster Cline speak your words of wisdom in the back of my mind. Ha.ha.ha.

I can almost get a pair of shoes on...my feet have been so incredibly swollen that I haven't been able to stand even a pair of socks. I wear an old pair of slippers everywhere. And literally, I mean everywhere. I wore them to Jack's one week doctor's appointment yesterday. Dr. V said that his bilirubin is finally low enough that we could send back the lights (I called them in the car on the way home-not a minute too soon for me). He also said that Jack has gained some weight. He now weighs 5 pounds 13 ounces. Quite an improvement from the time we left the hospital. He was given an excellent bill of health! Yeah!!

I think that I need to give a shout out to all of you who have been so helpful. We haven't cooked a meal since arriving home from the hospital. Our neighbors and friends have been incredibly supportive and it has made such a huge difference! Also, thanks to Aunt Sara and cousin Christopher for loaning us some preemie clothing. Wow, now he won't strangle in the night from the excessive fabric dangling from his sleeves. The clothes looked so small when I pulled them out of the bag--I really didn't think that they would fit, but every outfit is just the right size. I guess he really is that small! Now if I could just figure out how to keep him from peeing all over everything. I don't know how he can pee in the front of his diaper and his back get wet...can someone explain this to me??

Jack Carver Murray

I'm really tired...and the baby needs more milk.
More milk, more milk, more milk....

Visiting Jack in the NICU

Tiny Little Toes

Resting in the UV bed

This is how he looks during every diaper change and bath.

After diaper change and/or bath...

Tummy time

Jack, in the NICU, sporting the IV in his scalp. It is so much more fun to feed him without tubes running in every direction.

Time Warp

We have almost survived the first week. And literally it has, at moments, felt like survival. We are so glad to be home. Jack is still lying on his UV lights to treat his high bilirubin counts. He does fairly well in his "box". The nights are a little rough because he prefers to be bundled up very tightly and the light box requires that he lay in there with just a diaper on...something he does not enjoy at all. Jeff and I are trying to take the night in shifts, but when he is absolutely screaming there is very little sleep being had by anyone.

I am feeling pretty well. I am very bruised below the C-Section incision. There were some muscles that feel permanently damaged from the pushing and then some that are literally held together with stitches. I tried to deliver him the "old-fashioned way" for about 2 hours before it was determined that he was not going to fit. This is pretty ironic since he only weighed 5 pounds 10 ounces. He was 17 inches long and was born at 10:12PM on Thursday evening. Jack was in great condition except for an infection that got him admitted to the Newborn ICU (NICU) on Friday morning. Our pediatrician is the most amazing guy-he really watched out for Jack. He started to treat his infection immediately and we feel so blessed!! We got to know the NICU staff pretty well. They were actually very helpful because we got some one-on-one tips for feeding that we desperately needed....and we were able to get some much needed recovery rest. I especially think that it was a blessing and a curse to have him in the NICU because I really had a rough couple of days when I couldn't feel my legs!

We think that he is a good-looking baby. He has dark hair-straight like his mom...no curly hair from dad :) He looks particularly olive-skinned, but it may just be the jaundice. I guess we'll have to see what happens in a few weeks. He loves to suck on his first two fingers. He HATES baths...we are talking major meltdown even if we wipe him off with a cloth! He is finally eating well. Jeff can take most of the credit here--he really gives him a pep talk before each meal and they work through the process together. It is a real compromise most of the time.

Jeff will be leaving on February 2nd to get Lachlan. Dad, Susie and Aunt Merrilee are leaving early on Saturday morning. I can't believe that all of this is happening at once. I am sooo glad that Jeff will be here for another week. I can't imagine doing this alone at this point. I am nervous, but I have lots of percocet to help take the edge off.

Only ONE More to Go!

1 Day...Wow! I shouldn't have waited a week to catch up. I can't believe how fast last week flew by...On Monday, January 8th, we received word that we had just been given Travel Approval or TA by the CCAA. We were informed that we needed to list our soonest possible travel dates and send them to the consulate for an appointment. I contacted Dr. M to see about possibly having Jack a week early to accommodate for a sooner appointment for Jeff. She agreed to begin induction on the night of the 17th--WHICH IS TOMORROW! I'm not sure what I'm feeling more, relief that I won't be pregnant anymore, excitement to meet Jack or the anticipation of my life never being the same again. Is this how it feels right before someone is sent to prison?? Hum.

At any rate, my bags are packed. The diapers, bottles, pumps and pads have all been purchased and I think that I am ready to go. The only part that remains to get ready is my body....which, technically is not ready for what is about to happen. As of last Friday, I am not dilated, effaced and the baby hasn't dropped. Dr. M has mentioned repeatedly that this could take "a very long time"--oh, I can hardly wait. I am very nervous about the pain factor that may be involved in order to get things "moving along". I've already informed Jeff that he is to just let me cry because it could get really ugly if I am just told to tough it out. I figure that it is probably better to just cry than to get really mean and nasty.

In addition to preparing for Jack to arrive, we have been scrambling to finish the last bit of paperwork that Jeff will need to take with him to China. I am going to get the final copies and notaries done this afternoon. The travel visas have been taken care of, and we expect to get them in the mail tomorrow. I have piles of Lachlan's stuff all over the house. There will be a very limited amount of suitcase space and I am wondering how we will possibly get it all shoved into one bag. Apparently, Grandpa Billy, who will be traveling with Jeff hasn't had this same dilemma because mom told me the other day that he already has his clothes laid out and is basically packed! We are hoping that we will hear about our consulate appointment date today. We expected to hear last week, but of course, there was a new piece of paperwork to file and the celebration of Martin Luther King Day....so here we are, still waiting. I am anxious to get the flights and travel plans nailed down. At least Jeff will be taking the rest of the week off to be a dad--maybe this will give him some time on the side to deal with the travel agency as well.

The best part of today was that we received an update on Lachlan's health from her SWI. I have been concerned about her developmental delays--and mostly wondering on what level she will be functioning. The SWI reports that she can walk when sitting in her walker and that she is able to grab food and toys with both hands. MANY thanks to Aunt Susie and Uncle Miner for lending us the BIG TOY! This is obviously going to be very helpful--and she is going to really like it!! It is also reported that she reacts fast when hearing sounds and she likes to play "with same age little friends". I loved how that was written. She has a good appetite and sleeps well and she can say "Ma Ma" and "want". The report was filed on January 9th. Phew! A huge sigh of relief from this Mama...even a few tears of relief. She just needs to hang on for another couple of weeks. Can you believe that all of this will be finished by Valentine's Day?

Reality Check: Jeff and I have come to dislike putting together baby/toddler equipment. These industries do not hire competent technical writers to assemble their equipment instruction manuals. In fact, we have found that some things don't even have assembly instructions. Last week, I told Jeff that we better spend an hour trying on the Baby Bjorn..."an easy to use infant and toddler carrier". We were able to finally get it on and make it fit, but the winter covering (designed to keep baby warm and dry) was maddening. Was it hard in the end? No. But getting to that point was mind-boggling! We were so proud that it finally stayed on and actually looked like a viable piece of equipment that we made Ernst try it out for good measure. He undoubtedly loved it. What could be better for a needy cat than a warm carrier that is actually worn by a human friend? He can comfortably be carted from room to room. It was just like the Make a Wish Foundation for Felines.

No Changes...Again...uggh

19 Days....(why can't it be less?) I've already been to the doctor this morning. All I can say is that Jack is loving it in there and that he really doesn't have any plans to make an appearance soon. Dr. M thinks that he probably weighs about 6.5 pounds and that it might take me until the 31st of the month. UUGGH!! I keep waiting for her to say that there is something different, but no, the same as last week. Why in the world is he waiting around? I know that it is cramped in there because I'm living on the outside of that skin!! Jeff thinks he must be a "burrower"-likes to hunker down and stay warm, wrapped up in a ball. hum. maybe. I'm giving him one more week of the good life to make some better choices and then I'm cutting off all sugary snacks and I'm going to make it less pleasant (unfortunately that means for both of us).

Knack for Knitting

My boys, modeling mother's latest fashion creations...and Ernie, relaxing in the swing.

Only 22 days...Last week I decided that I really wanted to learn how to knit using those standard knitting looms. I saw a set of them on sale at Walmart while I was shopping for a disposable camera. We have a really good friend here in Logan who actually runs a business making the really nice wooden looms--on the side she has a fantastic website that has a ton of patterns, instructional videos and general information. I figured that I had made quilts, bibs, and burp cloths using a borrowed sewing machine and instructional booklet---this couldn't possibly be any harder. Plus, I had all the instructional videos that I could watch online...well, it was a bit more intensive than just winding string onto the plastic loom. I did have to make one trip to see my sister-in-law Gae to make sure that I was doing the most basic stitch correctly. Once I got started though, I just sort of started making my own patterns--AND, I even had a dream in the middle of the night about how I could make the little ear flaps on my red hat (see photo).

I now have three little hats to show for my effort. I seem to have mastered the e-stitch, knitting, purling, a flat stitch and I can do a basic square pattern with a gartered edge. Not bad for one day. I even made the pom poms to go on top of the hats--although, I think that my mom may have taught me that a LONG time ago. I seem to have a vague recollection of doing that before---hum. The hardest part was keeping Bruce out of the yarn. He gets it stuck to his tongue and he can't get it out of his mouth once he gets it in there. He just chokes and gags on it. The best part is that it keeps my mind off of the nightly contractions. They are coming back. They took a vacation over the weekend, but they seem to be back in the office.

Jeff wants me to make him a matching hat. I think that I will try to make him one with ear flaps. I made a few mistakes on the first one and now that I have a clue what I'm doing it should look a little bit better. I'm sure that there will be a few people calling and wanting me to make some of those covers that go over the Kleenex box, but I really don't think I will want to waste all of this talent on tissue covers. Mom, if you want one of those you'll have to make it yourself. ha.ha.

Reality Check: The Miners loaned us their baby swing. I put in on the floor in our bedroom. This afternoon while I was finishing up with the hats I kept hearing this funny clicking sound. When I went to get Fritz to model the hats I found Ernie in the swing--a rockin' away! He loves that thing! In fact, I think that I am going to have to keep it in the closet so that he doesn't make it his own personal cat hammock.