Lachlan Helps Jesus

The Murray Family Christmas Party and live nativity...wherein Lachlan steals baby Jesus. We were equal parts laughing and embarrassed.

Jack and Lachlan, in Christmas Eve jammies, reading books with Dad. Jack has his "breever."

Twelve Days of Chaos

We celebrated the twelve days of Christmas this year. I decided that I would get something very small for the kids each day. I put it in a large Christmas box and then I would set it outside and ring the doorbell. The kids went ballistic whenever the doorbell rang because they were so excited to see what Santa had left them. I tried to keep the gifts simple (stocking ideas) so that it wouldn't be complete overload. We really had fun.

My favorite night was the night that Jack got his Elmo "big boy" underwear. He had been asking if he could have "big girl panties" for quite some time so I thought--WTH, he can wear them over top of his diaper. If anything maybe he'll get an urge to sit on the toilet and do something other than unroll the paper. He was OVER THE MOON excited for his Elmo underwear. This video was shot shortly after he got them on. He spun and danced for about 40 minutes. After the dancing he decided that wearing one pair wasn't good enough, so he put another pair on, and another, and another--this picture is with his 4th pair of underwear on. I didn't dare put another pair on for fear that it would start to cut off vital circulation to an extremity...he cried. I felt terrible so I let him carry the other three pairs with him around the house.

Lachlan got some "high heeled" shoes (just like mommy's, she declared). The shoes were hilarious. It was so hard not to laugh as she tried to walk around in them. She only wore them for a short time because she has a serious fear of falling down. The video reflects the image of a woman with peg legs walking on ice. The shoes were completely dismantled (another of her true talents) by the next afternoon. At least we got the moment on video. The socks are completely reminiscent of her Chinese heritage...

Gym Crush

I rarely want to be other women. As a general rule, I stick to the concept that you would rather have your own problems than someone else's BUT I have a crush. There is this woman who works out at the gym at the same time I do....and I want to have THAT body! Not in, I'm becoming a lesbian way, just in the "oh, my gosh I can't believe that she can do that" kind of way. This woman is so physically strong--I know that I am staring at her. I try to make it as inconspicuous as possible but there are times when I realize that I have stopped what I am doing (lifting my sad 12 pound weights) and I am literally staring slack jawed and my breathing is almost non-existent! I can't help it!!

I am not a fan of the uber-skinny person sweating it out on the elliptical for 75 minutes. There are plenty of those women at my gym. These women are genetic anomalies for the most part. The practicality of my personality it acutely aware that I will never wear a size 6 pair of pants. Besides, I enjoy eating. The smooth creaminess of chocolates, crispy saltiness of potato chips, tartness of a good vinaigrette salad dressing--fast food, slow food, clean food, commercially grown and processed, pasteurized, raw, gourmet, homemade--I like it all! There are very few things that I enjoy more than a good meal. The ultimate satisfaction.

The downside of course, becomes that I still haven't lost all the baby weight (even though I no longer have a baby) and I need to come to grips that it is going to take some real work to get back into my cute clothes. Yeah, I still have them in the closet and if I don't get on it they won't be so cute when I try to wear them in another decade.

So where does the crush come into all of this? The crush is who I want, who I hope that I have the determination to become--something realistic. The crush can do crossover lunges with 15 pound weights in each hand. aauuggh. Unbelievable! I can live with big thighs if they could do that! At least you could say that they were big for a reason--

Having a crush is very exciting. In the past, I have been highly motivated to learn new things to be a part of "their world." Maybe this will be the catalyst that will help me to do crunches with the medicine ball. At the worst, this woman will have to find another gym because she can feel the weirdos staring at her.

Winter Weather

We've had some fantastic winter storms. Jack can't even see over the snow in our yard. Lachlan can keep her gloves on so she enjoys making slides and snowmen. For some reason she really wanted to sit on top of this one...?

Santa Comes to Our Party

Okay, so my graphics are a little sketchy...this is literally the first time Jack and Lachlan have ever seen Santa in the flesh. The local church party started out with the university carolers. They were all dressed up in period costume and they sang in four part harmony--that alone nearly blew Lachlan's mind. She danced and sang...literally couldn't take her eyes off of them. In fact, she followed them right out the door when they were leaving. She later told me, "mama, next time, my ging (sing) wif dem." I almost got choked up.

The best part, however, was when Santa came shouting into the building. Jeff put Lachlan up on his shoulders so that she could see above the 400 other children. She, however, was yelling far louder than anyone else. She kept saying, "mama, daddy, Santa's here. He came to our party. Look, it's Santa. He came to our party!" Jack's mouth just hung open and he immediately butted to the front of the line. Only one little boy managed to get in front of him and run up to hug Santa--that was enough of a go-ahead for Jack. He marched right up to Santa and hopped on his lap. He nodded that he had been a good boy and when Santa asked what he wanted for Christmas he said, "another party." The kid loves a good party. Lachlan shoved her way to the front after she saw Jack get on Santa's lap, but she got a little nervous when it was her turn. Jeff told her that Santa had candy and she immediately hopped on his lap and told him that she wanted "two presents." Yeah, I never let on that she could be real specific with the gift. Much easier to shop for... When she was done with Santa she was really proud of being brave. She kept telling me, "mama, I not cry ."

Attempted Alphabet

She's got the tune...still working on the words.

How We Really Celebrate

This video was made especially for my family. The rest of you can enter it into your "now I've seen everything" file.

Boys and Guns

Given my background you would think that this wouldn't bother me so much...but it does. Jack has been given swords, guns and fake ammo by "friends"--these items have (up until now) been banned from the house. I am not a fan of violence--even pretend violence. And yet, despite my efforts, he has found a way to make weapons out of everything. I even caught him "shooting" Lachlan with a plastic alphabet letter. WTH!

Here he is holding her at gunpoint while he steps on her periodically with his shoe. Are you kidding me?

What's a mother to do? I had to make an executive decision. I decided that a foam sword would be less obtrusive than guns--and I saw a bunch of them for $1 at Dollar Land. I figured it was a compromise. He LOVES that sword. He carries it with him all day long. I caught him "riding" the arm of the couch with his sword. He told me, "my go to Seeping Booty castle and get the dragon, otay, mama?!" With only slight alarm I answered, "fantastic, you are Prince Phillip!" He was so proud of his hero status--now armed with a real sword. How could you take that away from a kid??!!

And just for full disclosure, I made Jeff pull over on the way home so that I could buy 4 more swords from Dollar Land. I would hate for him to go to battle without one.

The House that Gluttony Built

Aaah, the sin of gluttony. Never was it more apparent than in a child's gingerbread house. We made these prior to the big day. I left them out until 12:01AM on Christmas morning and then I threw them out. They held significantly less candy at the end than in the beginning. I couldn't keep Jack out of it. Stale candy (and even worse, stale candy that has been sitting out in the open air for several weeks) seriously makes me overly nauseated. If I were ever on a show like Fear Factor and they said, "take a bite of this old sour patch kid that has been sitting out for a week and win a million dollars..." well, I could do it for a million dollars but I would be dry-heaving as if it were a rotten pair of socks. At any rate, to note the vast difference in my son, Jack would gobble down that pair of filthy socks and the sour patch kid and then look around to see if any were still hiding underneath the dishwasher.

The spoils.
Lachlan: Living the dream.

Lachlan couldn't understand why I wanted her to put more candy on her house. She put 10 random candies on and then declared "my done now." She then proceeded to eat 2.5 pounds of licorice string.

This is Jack's house. He didn't put one candy on it. Wouldn't even try. Couldn't tear himself away from the Smarties, Neccos and gum drops. Oh, have mercy on us...we go to the dentist in two weeks. If we walk away without silver grills it will be a Christmas miracle. The gingerbread cookie doormen only stood watch for 5-6 days tops--to his credit Jack only ate one of them. Ernst ate the other one in a fit of late night mischief.

This sinner will remain anonymous, but can't you just see the devil smiling.

Jeff missed part of the party. He was trying to finish the tile in our basement. Jack and Lachlan were very excited to show off their creations.

Merry Christmas!

I try hard to keep the Christmas card list up to date, but I know that there are a few people whom I have forgotten. Please forgive. The above photo was enclosed with this message:

We are happy to have survived another year in good health and fortune. Jack is very excited to be 2 years old next month. He is a genius child who can sing his ABC's and count to twelve...seriously (not even his biased mother would lie about it!) He is obsessed with Sleeping Beauty and Robin Hood and prays every night for Elmo, Cookie Monster, Big Bird, and Grover. He loves his blankie, stuffed dog and a good chocolate milk bottle. Lachlan (3) focuses all her spare time on learning songs. She has mastered the following: "A Part of Your World," Little Mermaid; "Tomorrow," Annie Theme Song; "Head, Shoulders, Knees & Toes," "Jingle Bells," "So Long, Farewell," Sound of Music; and "Give Said the Little Stream." The other half of her life is spent running from her brother so that she doesn't get wrestled to the ground. She also loves her blanket and bubble gum. She goes to preschool with Miss Wendy and it is the highlight of her week. We are so grateful for your love and friendship. We wish you the best in the coming year!
Much Love.

Prayers Answered

See what a little religion can do....hallelujah!

Family Picture Day

Calling all religous people....

Tomorrow morning we will embark on the precarious family picture day. We have two locations selected for outdoor photos. Lachlan already cried when we went through the dress rehearsal this afternoon. She told me that her coat was too small and "my no like it, whaaa." The coat is NOT too small. It just doesn't have a picture of Mickey Mouse or that frickin' frackin' Elmo on it.

Pray for us. Count the Rosary. Visit the Synagogue. Watch an episode of Oprah. These are desperate times.

Too Gross?

I spied on the garbage man.

I watched him drive over the garbage can with his truck. Our garbage spilled all over the road.

Apparently, my trash is so disgusting that he couldn't bear to touch it. He picked up every single piece with this tool.

It left me thinking two things:

1) Are you paid by the hour?

2) Shouldn't gloves be part of the uniform?

Christmas Gift Series: No.2

Raven Maps.

If I ever win the Idaho lottery, I'm buying every single map they have ever, or will ever create. We have several framed maps in our home. This was the first gift that I ever gave Jeff when we were dating...and I gave it with the real intent of keeping it in the family (if you know what I mean...) I love maps. Old, new, historic, vintage, nautical. Can there possibly be anything more interesting in one's home??


This IS the gift for travelers, wishers, dreamers, and analytical weirdos (you know who you are). I recommend that you order the laminated version. They are easily framed on foam core with a cheaper frame. I've even wiped mine down with a damp cloth to keep it dust free. The maps are huge, so if you plan on getting a frame with glass it is going to cost you--and for heaven's sake, don't go to your local Michael's to have it done. This isn't something you put a big heavy mat around. Simple is best. Let this incredible piece of artwork speak for itself.

Oh, beautiful maps. I love you.

Mutterings...

We enjoyed Thanksgiving with Nanny Carver. I wanted to have a nice family history photograph, but I waited too long. Jack was out cold by the time I got around to getting the camera out. And by cold, I mean, drool coming out of his mouth and snoring. For a kid who still takes two naps every day--turkey day really took it out of him. I think that Grandma looks incredible in these pictures!

I'm so grateful for my sisters. We took this pic last month, but I wanted to make sure and post it because I finally don't look like I'm completely frazzled and old...which is generally how I look. ha.ha. Sounds so self-serving--seriously though, we are all so different, and yet, exactly the same.

I could list a million reasons to move from this valley. And then, I remember why I can never leave...