Yeah, there's a couch under there---and not only that, there are still about 5 loads that aren't even washed yet. I haven't been able to bring myself to start folding it because I know that I will be there for at least an hour. I can always seem to think of a million other things that I can do in an hours time. Oh, well, it's not like I've got a bunch of people coming over who will need a place to sit down. (how's that for justification?).
Earlier this week, Jeff sent me a NY Times article about international adoption and we also had some correspondence with Y Baby (who was in the same orphanage with Lachlan). I have to admit that I haven't thought about the reasons we adopted her for a very long time. After a lot of reflection, I'm surprised at how I simply accept the fact that she is our daughter. I really haven't had any time to think about her "past life". I've wondered often this week about what her birthmother looks like--I get so many comments about how Jack looks like me, and I wonder if she looks like her mother. Where are they? What are they doing? Do they think about her, or is their life simply a daily battle with survival? It very well could be...
The SLTribune had a week long series on the struggles of Chinese workers. The high cost of cheap products...something I used to teach about in my former life. How ironic that I shop on a weekly basis at Walmart and other discount stores--which, rarely showcase anything other than products made in developing countries--oh, there really is a cost for buying cheap. I hope that somewhere somehow Lachlan's parents have been able to make peace with their decisions. My heart would break if I thought that they are haunted by her...may there be some mercy for them. In the same regard, I pray for mercy on her future struggles. I hope that she will continue to be the resilient child we have come to know--that she will be able to put everything in the proper perspective.
I hope that as a mother I can do a good job of keeping her past and present in the proper perspective. It is so easy to just go through the motions of seeing that every one's physical needs are met. It is much more difficult to consider the emotional and mental aspects of life. Especially when Lachlan's are so specialized to a time and place of existence that I have never experienced on a personal level.
Hum, I'm not really sure where this one-sided conversation ends...maybe I'll have more to say after I fold all of the laundry.
3 comments:
That is deep stuff, Rose. Those will be interesting challenges to face regarding Lachlan's past, present, and future. You will do fabulous, though. I remember advice you gave me about grease monkeys and rednecks... and tales about your adventures with Jeff BEFORE you were even married.
So are you really working? Where at and what are you doing?
Amanda,
I've just been doing some contract work on a USDA website. It is through Deb's office. I have been able to work at my own pace, but I just found out that our funding was put in as a line item in a Congressional session...we didn't get renewed. The program director is keeping everything afloat for the time being. This means that I need to keep everything running very smoothly so that she will keep it going. The new funding will be put in the Farm Bill, but there isn't any way that it will be passed in an election year. At any rate, I need to get some new lesson plans on the site ASAP...that's after I finish the reviews of about 100 new books. oh, boy.
Diana and I have often thought about similar things, especially when you adopt a child that is 7-years old. You have to deal with not knowing much about those first seven years. We have family memories of that time and he has memories (not many pleasant ones) of those years as well.
I don't know about China, but there are services available in other countries to investigate and find birthmother information. We may eventually do this as we know our children will ask.
We're just gathering what information we have and are preserving it for now for when the time is right and for when the boys ask about their past. Joseph will likely want nothing to do with his past, but Matthew is young enough that he will not remember. He'll have plenty of questions and fantasies about the "grass being greener" on things he will not remember but that we experienced.
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