Ramblings

The nights are the worst.

I actually dread them because I'm so tired, but I still can't seem to sleep through the night. I haven't been letting myself take a nap in the afternoon because I don't want to sleep less at night--you get the idea. I've basically turned into a Jekyll and Hyde that just wants to either cry it off or sleep it off. I'd take some meds, but tonight I caught Louisa trying to climb out of her crib and escape. The only thing that stopped her from getting on the night bus to Nanping was that her foot got tangled in the bars and it alerted her mortal nemesis (me).

I can honestly say that I've never had someone dislike me enough to wet themselves to get off my lap--until yesterday morning. She had an absolute #$%@ fit because I picked her up and sat her down on my lap. Frankly, there's a bit of a fine line here between her not liking me and her trying to control parts of her life by having temper tantrums. I can see that she has been allowed a few undesirable habits because of her Cheshire Cat grin--it's frustrating to be patient enough to give her some space and also let her know that screaming like a lunatic won't get you any favors.

Also...I'm homesick.
It's hard. Really. hard. not to think about how much easier dealing with all of the emotions would be if I could sleep in my own bed (Angie, I forgot my ear plugs--so you know how I'm really doing here)...there's a whole list tonight so I'll spare you the pity party. We still have another week. Another. week.

It hasn't been all hateful urination and evil eye--
Yesterday we visited the oldest temple in the province. It has the largest Buddha and was built in 867 (Tong Dynasty). It was a large place--not much different from other temples we have visited in the past. They are trying to restore large sections of it. Truthfully, the drive there was the best part. The traffic in the city is horrific. Probably some of the worst I've ever seen in any part of this country. The streets are old and narrow, but there are so many people that there will never be enough room to expand the space for the number of vehicles moving everywhere. Nevertheless, the car is air conditioned and moving so slowly that you can really get a good look at the city. I really wish that I wasn't so concerned about wasting fuel and time--I'd tell that driver to just keep on going all morning.

After the temple we were able to drive to the Women's and Children's Maternity Hospital where Louisa was found at the gate on January 31, 2011. Penny gave us a copy of her finding ad--it matches what it says in her file about being found by a policeman. He gave a description about her being small, large head, lighter skin. It also says that her parents cannot be located. There was no birth note left with her.

I can't comprehend how someone could just leave a baby at this gate. I'm not even talking abandonment--I'm talking there are about 10K people at this entrance gate. How would you get away unnoticed??! I wish that it would list a time in her file about what time of day was she found--did they leave her in the middle of the night? I stood on the street corner and tried to figure it out. It is absolutely certain they knew she would be found immediately. Did they just run? Penny told us it is the best children's hospital in the province. There were thousands of pregnant women going in and out, ambulances dropping off people, beggars, sellers, random city weirdos--all of it on this street corner. It felt wild and chaotic and confusing and holy and special...all at the same time.

Late yesterday afternoon we walked through the city. Walking outside is pretty interesting, but you have to just tell yourself that it's going to be so hot that you think you might die--and then do it anyway. Our kids would have never made it. Kids shouldn't come to China in July. Ever. Louisa doesn't seem to mind. I'm certain it's because she lived for the past two years inside a cement Dutch Oven. I know--I went to there.

The city is very clean. It feels safe. There are lots of things to see--even more to smell. I'd post some pictures but the internet at this hotel makes it so painful. I'll try to add them tomorrow when we get to Guangzhou. We wandered through supermarkets, alley markets--we got Lou some smaller underwear at a "baby store". I also got her some new shoes. They're squeaky shoes. It's all that they have for "little babies"--apparently, parents here love it. Oh, Asia--

I also wanted to write about the square dancing. There are thousands of people on every corner, in parks, shady spots, bus stops and they are doing a slow version of ballroom dancing. Penny said it is called square dancing and it is all the rage with old people and housewives. I told her in the U.S. square dancing is a type of cowboy dancing and then Jeff went so far as to do some "calling" for her. Both of us sat there with our mouths open for that moment. She laughed and said she saw it once on a movie and really liked the music for the cowboy dancing. In the evenings the streets--any open space area is filled with people blasting music from their radios while they do a Chinese version of Zumba. It looks like the world's biggest flash mob outside of our hotel in the government parking lot. The music is pretty awesome because it is usually a jazzed up instrumental version of something like, "what's love got to do with it" or an Avril Lavigne song being sung with an Asian accent. Which reminds me...our driver has a whole stack of Britney Spears CDs in his van...had a silent laugh to self today in the car.