The "Real" Mom

It’s not a secret that Jeff is the “real mom” in our home. Lachlan’s mentioned to me (and probably every one of her Primary teachers) on several occasions that she hopes that “dad doesn’t die before you,”—and maybe there would be mothers who would be sad or offended by such a comment, but in our house after such a statement we all just kind of nod in agreement (myself included). Case in point, last week Jeff worked late. On most nights, we get the kids ready for bed and then he deals with the “teeth.” On this particular night, Louisa brought me a whole box of floss and through a bunch of grunts and hand signals made it clear that she intended for me to floss her teeth. Kids’ teeth make me sick, but she was so insistent that I found myself dealing with the task.

Let’s be clear—this is no small task with Louisa—she has little tiny spaces between each tooth and when I looked inside her mouth there were bits of food, grass, gravel—maybe even some doll hair and plastic (only a slight exaggeration). In a word, it was horrific.

I had to do some positive self-talk, “Come on, Rose, you’ve emptied the contents of a cow’s stomach into a 55-gallon drum, sifted through it with your hands, weighed it, and put it back in the cow!” “Breathe through your nose, you’ve drained abscesses as big as your fist!”

Even then, as I’d be getting though the task, I’d catch a whiff of her hot little breath coming at me—laden with the scent of hard-boiled eggs and wet popcorn and it was all I could do not to grab the garbage can.

About half-way through the debris extraction process, Jack burst into the bathroom and asked me why I was sweating and crying, to which I croaked, “I’m trying not to throw up, now get out!” I heard him go down the hall and say to Lachlan, “Mom is in there cleaning Louisa’s teeth, she’s gagging and you do NOT want to go in there.”

So today, as we pause to celebrate the glorious-ness that is the blood and the milk of motherhood--let us not forget that for some of us we have to share the glory--because we really, REALLY, couldn't do it alone.