Do You Know This Person?

I'm purging.
I'm throwing out all the old photographs and converting the negatives to digital files.
I couldn't help but post some of these. Here's the game--I'll send a prize to the winner. You've got to identify the people in the picture, there are extra credit points for identifying the location, and/or situation. You lose points if you laugh so hard you pee your pants.

This picture is actually why I would have already lost the game...and what inspired me to post these online. Despite the abundance of neon in this photo--it isn't even in the '80s. Extra points if you can identify the year. Still laughing as I type this.... (Teresa, I'll send you the large copy. It's even better when its blown up to full screen size.)

I don't really know what I love most about this photo...oh, where to start?! Okay, how about the shoes....

"More to do."

I've always wondered how we would have exited that place in case of a fire. No stairwell. Bad elevator.

Smokin' a butt.

What you can't see is that "Wayne" (remember him) from church is sitting just off to the side. Can't imagine why he never fell for you...

Extra points for identifying the guy on the right...

Having fun...well, that "Depends" on who you talk to...

As high as he could count.

I also found some of you and I at Bear Lake...we had so much free time!

I can hear you saying, "Oh, goodie."

Want a grilled cheese with that...

The early years.

Extra points if you remember why she was pulling my hair out.

Still the best dressed.

Can You Hear Me Now?

Many of you know that Lachlan came from China with some hearing problems. She was only hearing around 40% of normal. Dr. J and Dr. B have been so wonderful to her. They have been checking her every six months and testing her hearing capacity and speech to make sure that we are doing everything we can to get her hearing properly. We have known for sometime that she would need to have a severe perforation (hole) in her eardrum fixed. Lachlan has been very excited to have her ears fixed.

Friday was finally the BIG DAY. We were able to do the surgery locally (a huge plus) first thing in the morning. The official surgery term is Post Aunicular Tympanoplasty. It really amounts to cutting her ear from the back and peeling it forward. They take some of the cartilage from her ear and scalp and make her a new eardrum--then they graft it into place and sew the ear back into place. We also knew that she was going to have a tube removed from her other (left) ear from a previous surgery.

Lachlan was a great patient. She was very brave. Dr. B did a great job and said that he didn't see any tumors, masses or otherwise unsightly problems. He was able to complete the surgery and also put a paper patch over the left ear. When he removed the tube the hole in the other eardrum was also perforated so hopefully the patch will stimulate some scar tissue to form in the right place.

When I came to get her in post-op she had every nurse eating out of her hand. She must have collected a hundred band-aids and other various medical devices. (At $10 a piece those band-aids are really worth something). She wasn't crying, just very excited about her gigantic pink band-aid. She was very proud that her ears were finally fixed.

The ears are both packed with cotton and the paper patch is very thick--so if you thought she couldn't hear you before...well, get ready. She talks in an incredibly loud voice and says, "What mama? What you say, dad?" ALL DAY LONG! We've laughed because it feels like we are living with an 90 year old!

I'm relieved to have this step behind us. I am crossing my fingers that her hearing will really improve. She is doing so well, I don't think many people would even know that she has a problem. It's hard to even imagine not being able to hear everything (like the difference between swimming pool and swimming cool--which is what she calls it :))
Here's some photos from the surgery --caution for the wimpy, the ear is not pretty.

Big Surgery Day! Early in the morning, but she was ready to go!

Post surgery, watching Mary Poppins. I thought she'd love it, but she wasn't really a fan. Puppy dog eyes.

More TV and blankets.

Getting the big band-aid off--and checking the wound. She LOVES Dr. B.

Dr. B didn't even have to shave any hair--just had to lift up the comb over. The cut looks really good. I don't think that we'll even see a scar.
One last note: this is the weather today. uggh. I might be sick.

Blood in the Water

Ahh, my Lachlan. She could smell blood in the water and she went in for the kill.

Two Weeks Ago: (as I recall it)

Me: Lachlan, I've had it! You cannot keep peeing in your pants. It is time for you to move on with your life and start to get ready for college. I will buy you a present--anything you want--if you will not pee in your pants for a whole week!!

Lachlan: You will buy me a pink piggy bank?

Me: A pink piggy bank? Damn straight. You go for a week and not only will I give you a pink piggy bank, but I will let you earn some money by doing extra chores. Then you can have some money in that bank!

Lachlan: Okay, you no worry, you no be sad no more, mom. I not pee in my pants. I big girl. I gonna get me a pink piggy bank.

Well, folks, I've only been potty-training this child for 8 months, 15 days, 10 hours and 6 minutes...and by heck, after she decided she was going to get her pink piggy bank she didn't even squeak out one drop of urine, didn't even let out any stray farts! She earned that bank and has it half-filled with spare change from every nook and cranny of our house!

In two weeks time she has only had one accident--and it was because she was wearing her "birthday teeth" while running around the cul de sac. And shoot, who hasn't peed a little bit while wearing fake teeth. I almost peed a little just taking pictures of the whole thing.

I'm sure that Jim Fay is turning over in his grave at the bribery involved in my parenting techniques--screw it, I say...from now on I'll be operating on a rewards-only basis. I can just see it now, "L, mommy will buy you a Lexus if you will dump your current boyfriend."

Jeff Gets Older

We celebrated Jeff's birthday this week. He's still older than me, it's really all that matters at this point. I let the kids choose birthday presents for him. Lachlan chose some fake "gag" teeth. Jack chose a rubber dolphin. After he opened his presents, both kids said, "Happy Birthday, dad, thanks for OUR presents." I guess that we aren't really to "give it away" yet.

I cooked a real meal. It's been hit or miss lately so it was something to be remembered.
I made a cake and it was good. The kids wanted to get him a chocolate cake with a purple rainbow and blue frosting. It sounded like something that could only be recreated with an airbrush at Albertson's so I had to recreate the image another way. Angel food cake with lemon pudding in the center, with strawberries and blackberries on top. Jack was thrilled because there was whip cream involved and Lachlan had "her" fake teeth in by the time cake was served so she could have cared less.

Jeff is a great dad. We are lucky to have him.

The Feel of Spring

The picture of Jack with his pants down...that's at the neighborhood Easter Egg Hunt. He took them down twice. He kept saying that they were falling down--I am highly skeptical. We are loving the sunshine and especially the park. The swings are a favorite for both kids.

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

I'm a bleeding heart for stray animals. Those of you who follow this blog know that after Mr. Fritz left we had a cat show up on the porch, literally the following week, ready to take his place at the dinner table. Black Fritz as he became known, was definitely a feral cat. I fed him all winter and Jeff and I had decided that if we were going to keep feeding him then it would be the responsible thing to have "it" spayed or neutered.

The whole process took on an immediate status when BF started to mark his territory throughout the entire neighborhood--leaving in "its" wake some very angry neighbors with ruined porch furniture (if you know what I mean).

So I borrowed a trap. Set the bait. He outsmarted me on the first attempt, but I caught him on the second. So now I have a cat in a trap on my front porch...

Our valley doesn't have a feral cat spay/neuter program. We just barely got a Humane Shelter for crying out loud! (don't get me started)--so I started to call veterinarians to schedule an immediate surgery. I finally located a vet who agreed to see the cat that very day, but depending upon the sex of the animal it would have to be taken to a different location. They also mentioned that I would need to have some way to transport and hold the animal for a few days so that it could be healed post-op.

So I borrowed a dog crate--a big dog crate from the neighbors to keep BF happy during its post-op recovery.

In the background you have to realize that I am making these phone calls while getting the kids dressed, fed and Jeff is trying to leave for work. I asked him to please help me move the cat from the cage to the crate and discover the sex so that I know where to drop it off. We are both frazzled and in a hurry.

I handed Jeff some leather gloves...I should have handed him some stainless steel armor. While making the "quick and easy" move from the cage to the crate, BF went ballistic. That's putting it mildly. He was eating Jeff alive and I just stood there because I was too afraid to move! Jeff finally threw the cat into the crate and I slammed the door shut. But not before the front porch looked like this....

He was bleeding everywhere. And he was mad. Mad at me. Mad at the cat. Mad that I said that it wouldn't be a big deal. Uugh. I was just sick. It was awful. And I STILL didn't know where to take BF for his surgery!

Jeff went to the bathroom to soak his arms. I proceeded to call the vet back so that I could tell them that I didn't know what to do with the cat--in the process I mentioned that it was too crazy and had bitten my husband. The receptionist told me that since Jeff had been bitten that she would no longer take the cat and that I needed to contact the city to see what their "cat-bite policy" was...ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!! I was freaking out. So I called the city and was told that I needed to talk to the mayor. The mayor?? For real?? Yes, he was in a meeting and I had to wait for him to call me back.

If you ever get bitten by a feral cat and the mayor calls you back you can pretty much guarantee that it is not going to end well for your cat. The mayor told me that because the cat had bitten someone that it would have to be quarantined for 14 days for a rabies evaluation, OR he could call animal control to come and get the animal for euthanization. I cried. I cried on the phone with the mayor.

The animal control officer was very nice. Very nice, most likely because I was still crying from my conversation with the mayor. And very nice because he had been instructed to tell me that the city had received some complaints regarding "the harboring of stray animals" at my residence. Then I was crying because I was sad and mad. It was one cat! At any rate, if I "harbor" any more strays I will be fined by the city.

I might have to run for mayor.

Oh, and he told me that the state would be contacting my husband to ensure that he had been evaluated for rabies. It's against the law to NOT see a doctor following a cat bite. More crying because Jeff was seriously wounded and would need to have antibiotics that would "cause severe and painful diarrhea for several days." So much crying.

I hope that BF is enjoying heaven. I do feel terrible that it ended so badly. I just wanted to help it live a more peaceful, less hormone induced life. Jeff's wounds were very painful. He couldn't even move his arms for three days--and he had some severe infection (i.e., puss draining from the sores) that caused him to be very ill (i.e., cold sweats, high fevers, nausea).

Closing Note: An official letter came from the State Diagnostics Lab. Neither BF or Jeff has rabies. Jeff no longer mad about the cat bites. He was very understanding. I cried about that too.

Tube Sock and Duct Tape

My hard drive crashed. As in, this kind of thing never happens to people like us...as in, I can't believe this is really happening. We keep everything on the computer. And by everything, I mean to say that the last five years of our lives will be flushed down the tube.

Fortunately, I am married to McGuyver. Yes, it's a fact that he can work some remarkable magic with a ball point pen and two elastic bands. I'm expecting nothing short of a miracle here--because as it turns out there are a significant portion of our children's photographs that did not get transferred to the backup drive before the crash. Ah, despite our best laid plans it turns out that we are the numb-skulls we have always feared that we would become...

I have much to report from the last several weeks, but it will have to wait until I can again focus on secondary priorities...or maybe just until I go back to work next week. Don't worry, it will probably be the latter.

Please stand by...