Ahh, my Lachlan. She could smell blood in the water and she went in for the kill.
Two Weeks Ago: (as I recall it)
Me: Lachlan, I've had it! You cannot keep peeing in your pants. It is time for you to move on with your life and start to get ready for college. I will buy you a present--anything you want--if you will not pee in your pants for a whole week!!
Lachlan: You will buy me a pink piggy bank?
Me: A pink piggy bank? Damn straight. You go for a week and not only will I give you a pink piggy bank, but I will let you earn some money by doing extra chores. Then you can have some money in that bank!
Lachlan: Okay, you no worry, you no be sad no more, mom. I not pee in my pants. I big girl. I gonna get me a pink piggy bank.
Well, folks, I've only been potty-training this child for 8 months, 15 days, 10 hours and 6 minutes...and by heck, after she decided she was going to get her pink piggy bank she didn't even squeak out one drop of urine, didn't even let out any stray farts! She earned that bank and has it half-filled with spare change from every nook and cranny of our house!
In two weeks time she has only had one accident--and it was because she was wearing her "birthday teeth" while running around the cul de sac. And shoot, who hasn't peed a little bit while wearing fake teeth. I almost peed a little just taking pictures of the whole thing.
I'm sure that Jim Fay is turning over in his grave at the bribery involved in my parenting techniques--screw it, I say...from now on I'll be operating on a rewards-only basis. I can just see it now, "L, mommy will buy you a Lexus if you will dump your current boyfriend."
7 comments:
Your blog helps me keep on truckin'.
Just what I needed as I sit here ... still at school ...
Side note on bribes:
I just learned that one of our teachers spent all of his legislative money on candy.
ALL $600 OF IT!
I bribe Lette with Chucky Cheese all the time...appealing to their greed always works.
I bought my daughter a big wheel for the occasion. :-)
Yeah!!! I wish bribes worked around here. They don't seem to.
I love bribes. What's even better is when your kid finally loves a toy enough that they will do what you want them to do because they don't want to lose the toy for a short time.
Wow. I'm surprised that Lachlan was able to connive such a plan! The way the story tells, it sounds like she has some advanced planning skills, and a surprising grasp on human behavior. I think she is cut out for politics!
Oh, Rose! Thank you for another few minutes of laughing out loud. Seriously, who hasn't peed their pants while also enjoying fake gag teeth?! It's impossible NOT to do both at once.
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