You Want Fries With That?

I went to Park City for the weekend. Took the kids to see Nazi Nanny and Papa. As we were leaving PC Jack started bawling in the back seat of the car. All attempts to calm him were met with even greater wails.

Finally, Lachlan couldn't take it anymore and she stated,"Him mad cause you no take him to Buck-Donalds for nuggets."

I'm lovin' it.

That's What He Said...

Our conversation at bedtime consisted of the following:

Mom: Do you want to say your prayers?
Jack: Yes.
Mom: Okay, go ahead.
Jack: (proceeds to pray for every character in Kung Fu Panda, his latest obsession).
Mom: Say, thank you for your family.
Jack: Thanks for mom, dad and Mantis.
Mom: Thanks for Lola.
Jack: Thanks Lolo.
Mom: Thank you for Jesus.
Jack: No! No Jesus, I mad at him.
Mom: Why are you mad at Jesus?
Jack: I, I, I just need a break from him.
Mom: (Is it bad that I was trying not to laugh?) Okay, well, I suppose we've all felt that way before...
Jack: Yeah, Amen.
Mom: Amen.

Wasp Nest?

You'll notice below that I spent some time during the university furlough playing with the children. Whilst the fun, I found this...
You're probably thinking something similar to my, "what the...??" It was a wad of Kleenex, stuck to the wall, approximately 38 inches from the ground. Here's a closer look. I got this close too, because I couldn't believe was I was seeing.

Yes, it's true. I have a daughter who built her own version of a paper wasp nest. She blew her nose and then stuck the tissue to her brother's wall. So beyond gross.

Play Toys.

Jack always asks us, "You pay toys, wif me?"

How can a mother resist an opportunity to watch two insects ride a 4-wheeler?

These pictures are from this morning. As you can see, I've been sharpening the Photoshop skills. I've been using Elements, but I think that it might be time to install CS3. (hum the tune to the Jeffersons, "we're movin' on up, movin' on up").

Have I mentioned that he is a beautiful boy??

He has the hairiest little body. Oohh, I just love this boy!

Dear God, It's Me Marianne...

My latest afternoon read was, My Little Red Book, by Rachel Kauder Nalebuff. It's a collection of "first period stories." Seriously, I picked it up off the shelf at Borders and I couldn't put it down. There are quite a few stories that had me laughing out loud--and even more that I actually nodded my head in understanding and empathy.

Seriously, IS there woman who didn't read all of Judy Blume's books? When I got my period I would have paid a million dollars to have it just "go away." It was such a sign that I really was going to have to be a girl, with all the girl problems that go along with it. It wasn't a sign that I was going to be able to have children--it's probably for the best, it took me until I was 30 to convince myself that it might be a good idea. I saw it as another reason that I wasn't going to be able to measure up for my dad--or that I might have something in common with my mother (the worst possible thing in the world at the time). My "preparation" amounted to a book titled, Becoming You with sketches of a circle falling out of a triangle. Oh, and it mentioned that Heavenly Father sure did love me for being a virtuous woman. Well, good thing that I didn't need anything more than that??!! Thanks to all my book-learnin', I wasn't brave enough to put a tampon in for a whole YEAR! I thought that Toxic Shock Syndrome was going to kill me for sure...although, once I did use them I figured that I would rather die than go back to the massive Kotex pads that mom used.

Did anybody else pour over Seventeen magazine for helpful tips? Oh, after reading this book I know that there are probably about 300 of you per square mile.

This book is worth reading--if for no other reason than it will make you feel included in a worldwide association with every other woman on the planet. You will finally feel normal. I'm giving it an enthusiastic feminist two-thumbs up. And feel free to post your own "." story in the comments...it's very cathartic.

A Long Ways Away

I'm 400 miles from home. I found out that I didn't have a wallet, credit card, cash, ID, Driver's License when I was about 300 miles from home. It was an honest mistake. I double checked everything--even walked out the door holding my cell phone so that I wouldn't forget it. I left the wallet on the bedroom floor after I got distracted getting the kids out the door...didn't want them to be late for church.

Thank goodness for you, Peggy. Thanks for vouching for me at the hotel, for the cash, for the moral support. It could have been worse. I've only got to teach one class tomorrow and then I'm going to try to get home without having any kind of incident that would require me to be identified under any definition of the law.

Oh, and I just did a 1/2 Blackened Chicken Salad Carside order from Applebees, they didn't include a fork. What the heck!!?? I just ate it in the motel room with my fingers. Good thing I've grown out these fingernails so that I could scoop up those hard boiled eggs....

Modern Medicine

On Saturday night, tragedy struck.

I heard this from Jack.
Jack: Mama, mama, help me! Mama, help me!
(I am running)
Me: What happened?
Jack: (Cradling the head of his most beloved stick horse), Mama, my horsey broken. I so sad. Help him, mama. You fix it make it better. Help him, mama. (Big tears in his eyes)
Me: Oh, honey, he's broken in half. I think that we better show daddy and see if he can help us.
Jack: You get the tape. Make him fixed.
Me: (Sick inside, wondering how in the world this can be fixed). Okay.

Jeff examines the horse and puts the pieces on the shelf. Says that maybe he can do something with it....
Later that night, I am putting Jack to bed.
Jack: Mama, I say my prayers.
Me: Okay, what do you want to say.
Jack: Oh, please bless my horsey. He get fixed. He get better. Help me not cry. Help horsey not be sad. Help horsey not be scared. AMEN!
Me: (choking on tears) Amen.

I put the boy to bed and go into the bedroom where Jeff is watching TV.
Me: I don't care what it takes, you fix that horse tomorrow. The boy just prayed for it.

A big thanks to Papa, Daddy and "the Big Guy" for helping Jack's horsey find health and strength.
This is what Jack had to say when they came home from the "horse hospital" on Sunday night.
Jack: Mama, daddy fix my horsey. Him all better. Him got fixed. I so happy. I not scared anymore. You kiss him, mama.
Kiss delivered.

No Fights Tonight, 'K Willard!

Ren: You like Men at Work?

Willard: What men?

Ren: Men at work.

Willard: Well, where do they work?

Ren: No, they're a music group.

Willard: Well, what do they call themselves?

Ren: Oh no! What about the Police?

Willard: What about 'em?

Ren: You ever heard them?

Willard: No, but I seen them.

Ren: Where, in concert?

Willard: No, behind you.

I'm at work and my sisters are not...they are all together at mom's house. I know that they aren't doing anything except sitting around feeding babies, reading magazines and talking about what to fix for dinner. These activities aren't exactly thrilling, but I am jealous that they don't seem to have anywhere to go or a million tasks to accomplish. Well, maybe Sara does, but she just tells Shane to "get off the couch and get my garage cleaned out..." and by hell, the man gets it done, pronto.

Sara's the boss-lady at her house. You don't cross her. No one really knows why not, she doesn't have a violent temper or a foul mouth (like her older sister), she doesn't bawl and make you feel guilty (like her younger sister)...she's just the boss, end of story. Hey, Tyler, "put a smile on it!" (all time best mom line-EVER). When she was really little we used to call her Willard--because she used to tuck her sweatpants into her cowboy boots. Funny, but terribly unflattering.

We don't call her Willard anymore (even though you did buy white pumps from the Chadwicks catalog--serious eye roll--and it seriously scares me). You shouldn't mess around with the boss. Happy Birthday, sis. Wish that I was there with everybody....

Tomorrow, from Annie.

I took this video while we were driving home from the Pumpkin Walk (yeah, back in October). I've been meaning to post it for some time. It's L's favorite song. There isn't much to see. She can actually sing it much better now, but this was really the first time she started to get all of the words. I'm dedicating it to you, HJP--the sun will come out tomorrow. We love you. xoxoxox