The Feel of Spring

The picture of Jack with his pants down...that's at the neighborhood Easter Egg Hunt. He took them down twice. He kept saying that they were falling down--I am highly skeptical. We are loving the sunshine and especially the park. The swings are a favorite for both kids.

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

I'm a bleeding heart for stray animals. Those of you who follow this blog know that after Mr. Fritz left we had a cat show up on the porch, literally the following week, ready to take his place at the dinner table. Black Fritz as he became known, was definitely a feral cat. I fed him all winter and Jeff and I had decided that if we were going to keep feeding him then it would be the responsible thing to have "it" spayed or neutered.

The whole process took on an immediate status when BF started to mark his territory throughout the entire neighborhood--leaving in "its" wake some very angry neighbors with ruined porch furniture (if you know what I mean).

So I borrowed a trap. Set the bait. He outsmarted me on the first attempt, but I caught him on the second. So now I have a cat in a trap on my front porch...

Our valley doesn't have a feral cat spay/neuter program. We just barely got a Humane Shelter for crying out loud! (don't get me started)--so I started to call veterinarians to schedule an immediate surgery. I finally located a vet who agreed to see the cat that very day, but depending upon the sex of the animal it would have to be taken to a different location. They also mentioned that I would need to have some way to transport and hold the animal for a few days so that it could be healed post-op.

So I borrowed a dog crate--a big dog crate from the neighbors to keep BF happy during its post-op recovery.

In the background you have to realize that I am making these phone calls while getting the kids dressed, fed and Jeff is trying to leave for work. I asked him to please help me move the cat from the cage to the crate and discover the sex so that I know where to drop it off. We are both frazzled and in a hurry.

I handed Jeff some leather gloves...I should have handed him some stainless steel armor. While making the "quick and easy" move from the cage to the crate, BF went ballistic. That's putting it mildly. He was eating Jeff alive and I just stood there because I was too afraid to move! Jeff finally threw the cat into the crate and I slammed the door shut. But not before the front porch looked like this....

He was bleeding everywhere. And he was mad. Mad at me. Mad at the cat. Mad that I said that it wouldn't be a big deal. Uugh. I was just sick. It was awful. And I STILL didn't know where to take BF for his surgery!

Jeff went to the bathroom to soak his arms. I proceeded to call the vet back so that I could tell them that I didn't know what to do with the cat--in the process I mentioned that it was too crazy and had bitten my husband. The receptionist told me that since Jeff had been bitten that she would no longer take the cat and that I needed to contact the city to see what their "cat-bite policy" was...ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!! I was freaking out. So I called the city and was told that I needed to talk to the mayor. The mayor?? For real?? Yes, he was in a meeting and I had to wait for him to call me back.

If you ever get bitten by a feral cat and the mayor calls you back you can pretty much guarantee that it is not going to end well for your cat. The mayor told me that because the cat had bitten someone that it would have to be quarantined for 14 days for a rabies evaluation, OR he could call animal control to come and get the animal for euthanization. I cried. I cried on the phone with the mayor.

The animal control officer was very nice. Very nice, most likely because I was still crying from my conversation with the mayor. And very nice because he had been instructed to tell me that the city had received some complaints regarding "the harboring of stray animals" at my residence. Then I was crying because I was sad and mad. It was one cat! At any rate, if I "harbor" any more strays I will be fined by the city.

I might have to run for mayor.

Oh, and he told me that the state would be contacting my husband to ensure that he had been evaluated for rabies. It's against the law to NOT see a doctor following a cat bite. More crying because Jeff was seriously wounded and would need to have antibiotics that would "cause severe and painful diarrhea for several days." So much crying.

I hope that BF is enjoying heaven. I do feel terrible that it ended so badly. I just wanted to help it live a more peaceful, less hormone induced life. Jeff's wounds were very painful. He couldn't even move his arms for three days--and he had some severe infection (i.e., puss draining from the sores) that caused him to be very ill (i.e., cold sweats, high fevers, nausea).

Closing Note: An official letter came from the State Diagnostics Lab. Neither BF or Jeff has rabies. Jeff no longer mad about the cat bites. He was very understanding. I cried about that too.

Tube Sock and Duct Tape

My hard drive crashed. As in, this kind of thing never happens to people like us...as in, I can't believe this is really happening. We keep everything on the computer. And by everything, I mean to say that the last five years of our lives will be flushed down the tube.

Fortunately, I am married to McGuyver. Yes, it's a fact that he can work some remarkable magic with a ball point pen and two elastic bands. I'm expecting nothing short of a miracle here--because as it turns out there are a significant portion of our children's photographs that did not get transferred to the backup drive before the crash. Ah, despite our best laid plans it turns out that we are the numb-skulls we have always feared that we would become...

I have much to report from the last several weeks, but it will have to wait until I can again focus on secondary priorities...or maybe just until I go back to work next week. Don't worry, it will probably be the latter.

Please stand by...

You Want Fries With That?

I went to Park City for the weekend. Took the kids to see Nazi Nanny and Papa. As we were leaving PC Jack started bawling in the back seat of the car. All attempts to calm him were met with even greater wails.

Finally, Lachlan couldn't take it anymore and she stated,"Him mad cause you no take him to Buck-Donalds for nuggets."

I'm lovin' it.

That's What He Said...

Our conversation at bedtime consisted of the following:

Mom: Do you want to say your prayers?
Jack: Yes.
Mom: Okay, go ahead.
Jack: (proceeds to pray for every character in Kung Fu Panda, his latest obsession).
Mom: Say, thank you for your family.
Jack: Thanks for mom, dad and Mantis.
Mom: Thanks for Lola.
Jack: Thanks Lolo.
Mom: Thank you for Jesus.
Jack: No! No Jesus, I mad at him.
Mom: Why are you mad at Jesus?
Jack: I, I, I just need a break from him.
Mom: (Is it bad that I was trying not to laugh?) Okay, well, I suppose we've all felt that way before...
Jack: Yeah, Amen.
Mom: Amen.

Wasp Nest?

You'll notice below that I spent some time during the university furlough playing with the children. Whilst the fun, I found this...
You're probably thinking something similar to my, "what the...??" It was a wad of Kleenex, stuck to the wall, approximately 38 inches from the ground. Here's a closer look. I got this close too, because I couldn't believe was I was seeing.

Yes, it's true. I have a daughter who built her own version of a paper wasp nest. She blew her nose and then stuck the tissue to her brother's wall. So beyond gross.

Play Toys.

Jack always asks us, "You pay toys, wif me?"

How can a mother resist an opportunity to watch two insects ride a 4-wheeler?

These pictures are from this morning. As you can see, I've been sharpening the Photoshop skills. I've been using Elements, but I think that it might be time to install CS3. (hum the tune to the Jeffersons, "we're movin' on up, movin' on up").

Have I mentioned that he is a beautiful boy??

He has the hairiest little body. Oohh, I just love this boy!

Dear God, It's Me Marianne...

My latest afternoon read was, My Little Red Book, by Rachel Kauder Nalebuff. It's a collection of "first period stories." Seriously, I picked it up off the shelf at Borders and I couldn't put it down. There are quite a few stories that had me laughing out loud--and even more that I actually nodded my head in understanding and empathy.

Seriously, IS there woman who didn't read all of Judy Blume's books? When I got my period I would have paid a million dollars to have it just "go away." It was such a sign that I really was going to have to be a girl, with all the girl problems that go along with it. It wasn't a sign that I was going to be able to have children--it's probably for the best, it took me until I was 30 to convince myself that it might be a good idea. I saw it as another reason that I wasn't going to be able to measure up for my dad--or that I might have something in common with my mother (the worst possible thing in the world at the time). My "preparation" amounted to a book titled, Becoming You with sketches of a circle falling out of a triangle. Oh, and it mentioned that Heavenly Father sure did love me for being a virtuous woman. Well, good thing that I didn't need anything more than that??!! Thanks to all my book-learnin', I wasn't brave enough to put a tampon in for a whole YEAR! I thought that Toxic Shock Syndrome was going to kill me for sure...although, once I did use them I figured that I would rather die than go back to the massive Kotex pads that mom used.

Did anybody else pour over Seventeen magazine for helpful tips? Oh, after reading this book I know that there are probably about 300 of you per square mile.

This book is worth reading--if for no other reason than it will make you feel included in a worldwide association with every other woman on the planet. You will finally feel normal. I'm giving it an enthusiastic feminist two-thumbs up. And feel free to post your own "." story in the comments...it's very cathartic.

A Long Ways Away

I'm 400 miles from home. I found out that I didn't have a wallet, credit card, cash, ID, Driver's License when I was about 300 miles from home. It was an honest mistake. I double checked everything--even walked out the door holding my cell phone so that I wouldn't forget it. I left the wallet on the bedroom floor after I got distracted getting the kids out the door...didn't want them to be late for church.

Thank goodness for you, Peggy. Thanks for vouching for me at the hotel, for the cash, for the moral support. It could have been worse. I've only got to teach one class tomorrow and then I'm going to try to get home without having any kind of incident that would require me to be identified under any definition of the law.

Oh, and I just did a 1/2 Blackened Chicken Salad Carside order from Applebees, they didn't include a fork. What the heck!!?? I just ate it in the motel room with my fingers. Good thing I've grown out these fingernails so that I could scoop up those hard boiled eggs....