Yesterday morning Jack had a "quick" appointment with Dr. V to check his height and weight. Jack is a skinny kid. Eats like a horse, but a skinny kid. Long story, short...he hasn't gained any weight, not an ounce, in over six months. He did grow taller, but not heavier. Dr. V was concerned about his "failure to thrive" and so ordered a tall round of tests to rule out any serious problems. Some of the potentials: kidney disease, hormone disorders, allergies and cystic fibrosis. I will also summarize the tests by saying that it was horrible. I swear they took a pint of blood from my baby. Needless to say, it was emotionally exhausting for me and physically exhausting for Jack. THEN, I came home and looked up the symptoms of Cystic Fibrosis...this brought on an emotional and tearful response. There really isn't a worse feeling in the world to have to wonder (or know) that your child could be very ill. It is such a fine line that we walk. On one hand, we want them to have all of the experiences in life that are defining. To teach independence, faith, determination and self-reliance...but it is so painful to even comprehend that it may involve difficulty, pain, even death.
I will summarize by saying that the nurses called me as soon as the tests were completed. They originally said that it would be Friday before I knew anything, but apparently if you start crying they will speed things up. Jack's tests are normal. He's just going to be a little guy. And frankly, I couldn't be happier.
This morning I am back to work, and the kids are at home with Maria (Maw-we-wah, as Lachlan calls her). I read this article from the NY Times and again the tears flowed. The parental ache is felt all the world over. May God have mercy on us all.
5 comments:
I remember well some of those exact same feelings I had when Amanda was sent for a battery "failure to thrive" tests when she was about the same age as Jack. I still have many of those same feelings today as we work through the process of determining what is really going on with our boys. It's a gut wrenching feeling that hits to the very center of your soul.
We were fortunate with Amanda, just as you were with Jack. Even though she's petite, she's catching up physically and been very healthy. She's also done well in school and other activities as well.
With the boys, however, it seems the more we do, the more we uncover. In some cases, that which was supposed to be correctable is not and that which was supposed to be easily treatable may not be. But life is what it is and we can either fight it and be miserable or embrace it and accept it and do what we can to help them and love them anyway.
I cannot even imagine!! Wow, Rose. I am glad despite the torturous moments of not knowing, I am SOOOO glad he is okay. Thank goodness for modern medicine (although some of the lame doctors that scare us needlessly could be eliminated...)
I knew you would post something on the entry about Ted Turner!!! Rich totally thinks he is a wacko. I do too sometimes.
I am with you. I am a little more liberal than my hubby but those kind of statements (that Turner made) make me laugh. Can't we be reasonable AND earth friendly?
oh rose, i feel what you went through. this past 8 months has been filled with test after test, procedure after procedure to make sure desmonds gi tract was ok. there is nothing like watching your child have blood taken, or an iv put it, or in any pain for that matter. i am so glad that jack is ok. wow, i'm sure you wanted to bawl when they told you that.
Rose- you have always had a heart that aches for the downtrodden and disenfranchised anywhere on this earth. What a cosmic week to feel that ache both personally and globally. I am so happy that everything is fine with Jack- if only everyone could receive that same answer to their pleas. We must all work to make things better.
I'm so glad everything turned out okay with Jack. He's such a little cutie.
There is so much heartache in the world; this post made it very personal as you told of your worries for Jack and then looked at the world picture and pointed out that every mother feels this way about her child in every war-torn, famine-afflicted nation. Thinking about it too hard is really too much to bear, I know. But here we go, doing what we can where we can. You have always made a difference, Rose. Keep rockin.
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