Growing Up

Lachlan said, "Hey, mom, is that popcorn popping on that tree?"
"Mom, I don't think that it's popcorn. I think it's just these little white flowers."



The kids are really growing up. [sigh]

More publishing...thanks PBS

I know that you have been waiting to see the article from PBS.org. Well guess what, me too! If you'd like to see the article online click here....otherwise, I've provided the copy below:

Best Bets for Gardening with Kids

Your kids can probably help you find the baby carrots or frozen French fries in the grocery store, but do they know where carrots and potatoes really come from? How about onions or strawberries?

Gardening expert and author Sharon Lovejoy recalls standing in front of a group of schoolchildren with a raw carrot in her hand as the children tried to guess where it had come from. One said the market. Another guessed a truck. Then Lovejoy, whose books include "Sunflower Houses: Garden Discoveries for Children of All Age" and "Roots, Shoots, Buckets & Boots: Gardening Together with Children," pulled a packet of seeds out of her pocket and told them that the carrot had been grown from the seeds. "A little boy yelled, 'That's a miracle,'" Lovejoy recalls.

Rose Judd-Murray, an education specialist with the National Gardening Association, says that stories like Lovejoy's are not surprising. "There is a disconnect [in kids] when it comes to understanding where our food comes from," she says. "Kids will pull something so basic out of the ground and they are unsure—'Do we eat the top or eat the bottom?'"

By teaching children not just where the food comes from but also how to grow it, we can increase their awareness of the world around them—and make them more likely to eat, say, tomatoes in their native form instead of just ketchup: "As kids touch and feel where the food comes from, they have a greater desire to eat fruits and vegetables," adds Judd-Murray. More than that, gardening is a way to reconnect our kids with the wonder of the earth, the miracle that a seed the size of a fingernail clipping could grow into a big orange carrot. "Kids really feel that this is a magical experience," says Lovejoy. Gardening can also be used to teach science and to reinforce positive character traits like respect, responsibility, the value of work and cooperation with others, notes Judd-Murray.

Now that we've established what fun it can be, are you ready to dig in? Here are some tips to get you started.

1. Start small. A common mistake beginners make is being too ambitious with their garden plans, only to be discouraged when weeds or pests take over the plot. "Make it so small that your child can water it and see everything," recommends Lovejoy. Rather than tilling a section of your yard, consider planting in containers, which will help keep weeds at bay and give your child a focus for watering. You can buy pots at a garden store or even use an old beach bucket—just be sure to poke holes for drainage. "Containers are great for herbs or patio-type tomatoes," says Susan Heidebrecht, a horticulturalist and garden designer who lives in Reisterstown, Maryland. But be warned: If you're using containers, you may have to water your plants more frequently than if you had planted in the ground. "Things can dry out really quickly [in containers]," says Heidebrecht.
2. Follow your child's lead. Not sure what to plant? Take your child to a garden store and let her pick the out the seeds. Your best bet will be flowers or vegetables with relatively fast germination periods (the better for short attention spans!). When it comes to flowers, Judd-Murray likes shasta daisies, cosmos and zinnia, while Heidebrecht recommends nasturtiums, which are an easy-to-grow edible flower. For vegetables, Judd-Murray, Lovejoy and Heidebrecht all recommend cherry tomatoes and, for a quick, three-to-seven-day germination, radishes. Lovejoy swears that kids will eat radishes when they grow them.
3. Buy kid-sized tools. A well-meaning child with a garden hose can blast a baby seedling away in a matter of seconds, but you can avoid garden floods by equipping your little helper with a kid-sized watering can. "You're rarely going to have an accident if the child has a tool that's the proper size," says
   Judd-Murray. In addition to a watering can, consider purchasing a child-sized clipper, trowel and shovel, as well as a magnifying glass, so you can get up close and personal with your plants.
4. Don't be afraid to experiment. Some of your plants might grow like weeds, others might be stifled by weeds. The key is to figure out—with your child—what works and what doesn't. A garden can become a living science experiment, in which you can compare what happens when one seedling receives fertilizer (or water or sunlight) and one doesn't. Not everything will grow in the way you expect, and that's okay. "Don't be afraid to fail," says Judd-Murray.
5. Make it fun. Gardening shouldn't feel like a chore, so don't treat it like one. Instead of inviting your child to "go work in the garden" with you, consider asking him if he wants to go peek under the leaves to see what he might find. Then grab the magnifying glass and start exploring!
6. No outdoors? No problem! Not everyone has access to an outdoor garden space, but apartment dwellers and others with limited outdoor space can also develop green thumbs by focusing on indoor plants. Judd-Murray recommends snipping off a piece of a spider plant and setting it in water to watch it grow new roots. Or plant aloe vera, which grows easily and can be used to treat household burns.

Heidebrecht adds that if all else fails, a visit to a local pick-your-own farm provides kids without extensive gardens the chance to see foods "in their natural habitat."

To Remember:

• Lachlan calls it "Miracle Idol" instead of "American Idol". She had to give a scripture (3rd Article of Faith) in Primary yesterday and to help her memorize it Jeff had her learn the song so that she could sing it. She did an amazing job, but relented post-experience that "no one even clapped or screamed at the end of it"--she was so disappointed because she thought that it would be just like "Miracle Idol."
• The kids spent Saturday afternoon with the Stauffers. They went to the park, ate pizza, went to the park again...I'm sure that it just accentuated the point that other families have more fun, BUT that night Jeff was tucking Lachlan into bed and she related the following experience:

L: Dad, today when we were at the restaurant eating pizza, Paul was being so naughty. He was saying bad words. Not potty words, but bad words. I could tell you what he said, but then you would get mad at me so I am not going to tell you what he said. He was not listening to his dad and he was going to get in BIG trouble.

Jeff: Well, that's why you should always listen to your parents. You need to obey. If Paul was doing something naughty I hope that you were trying really hard to set a good example. You should help him make better choices. Did you set a good example?

L: No. No, I couldn't be a good example because I was laughing so hard. That Paul was being so funny and I just kept laughing and laughing.

Gardening With Kids

I've been quoted in the May issue of Parenting Magazine.

Here's a link to the article that was posted online:

The article posted in the magazine is slightly different, but I'm given the same amount of credit. I must say that most of the ideas in the article are from our website although it isn't exactly referenced as such. Despite that...I'm kind of excited to have my millisecond of fame.

I've linked a PDF of the article here.

Do you....

...have a totally hot, awesome, amazing friend who will come and take your children for a drive so that you don't kill them and hide their bodies behind the chicken coop?

I do.

Wants and Needs

I'm not really fond of getting the "no" answer.

It looked really good on paper. The facts and figures were doable. It makes perfect sense.

It was still a "no."

I've known about the "no" for a week, but I just kept hoping that maybe my feelings were just all jumbled up inside or I was getting my period or stressed about work.

But, you know when you know.

Doesn't make it any easier. And yesterday I could just feel that I was going to have to face the facts...and this morning I had to say it out loud and make it official.

Then I came home and cried in the closet so that nobody could see the disappointment.

I'm glad that I've finally learned what it feels like to get an answer to prayer. I wish that my faith would catch up a little bit quicker next time.

It's Because I Do Care About What Teeth Look Like

1-800-CLEARCHOICE, it's me, Jack-boy...how much would it cost to restore my vain mother's request for front teeth?

Jack slipped while jumping off the bathroom stool on Sunday afternoon. He hit the tile face-first. The impact completely dislodged the tooth and most of the root structure. It tore apart his gums, crushed the roots of the other front tooth (yeah, it will probably have to be removed as well), and created some hairline fractures in his facial/jaw bones.

It was a horrible experience. He is feeling much happier today. He is eating food and was a very brave boy at the dentist. I was incredibly relieved that they didn't have to stitch his gums. It is already starting to look so much better. Dr. D said that his gum fractures will heal and shouldn't leave any permanent damage. We have scheduled a tooth extraction for the other front tooth in a few weeks when the swelling won't be so bad. Yeah, I had some tears about that...

So stupid, but I feel like losing teeth should be a right of passage rather than a violent accident.

Tonight the tooth fairy will come and leave him a dollar....and then I can pretty much guarantee that she will cry for the very same thing.

Power of Moms Retreat

Last Saturday I attended the "Power of Moms" retreat in Park City. I have been watching this website/project for the past year. I really like the idea of learning from other moms. Even more, I like the concept of creating a completely honest environment about the ups and downs of motherhood. So, in a decidedly deliberate move to really see what this is all about--and explore the potential for creating my own "learning circle," I went.

Post reflection I've come to this simple truth: I pride myself on learning about a variety of things. I don't shy away from trying new projects, potentials or philosophies. I went to this to learn something that I could share with other women and the cold hard reality is that I don't have a CLUE about real parenting technique. I realize and admit (a little unwillingly) that VERY little of what I do (in motherhood) is deliberate and serves a designated purpose. Why not? Well, it's simple, because frankly I never considered it before.

As a Mormon woman, you would think that I would have put all of this together in my mind. I mean, we have family prayer, family home evening, we plan for discussions about pornography and chastity--we are obviously not doing "nothing"--but I'm not sure that we're really doing "something" either. And you know what? I think that most women are like me.

During conversation with Jeff regarding "why doesn't the church have professional development for women? We should be talking more about strategies and intention!" Jeff reminded me that this is probably because if the church came out with something really specific that eventually you would have "those kind of people" who start to judge everyone who "isn't using the church strategies for family-raisin'"--and he's right because there really isn't a right or a wrong way to raise a family--

BUT--what about people like me who can do everything from knit a sweater to neuter a tom cat--but we just didn't get the memo about good parenting? It doesn't make me a bad mom. No. It doesn't. I've read books about parenting. Hey, I can actually quote passages from BabyWise--I'm talking about strategies like sitting down with your spouse and asking "who and what do we want our children to become" and then actually setting goals based upon obtaining that outcome. As an educator I am constantly hounding the fact that we want students to "see the big picture"--because the big picture allows them to make a conscientious choice, which is exactly what I want for my family. I'm not confident that you can really get there without a plan. An honest to goodness, write the bloody thing down, kind of plan.

Here are some of the things discussed that I will continue to think about:

1) Motherhood should be deliberate. Start with the end in mind.

2) We need margins and space in our lives. White space on a page is pleasant to the eye--white space doesn't mean that we are lazy. I need to leave space, but be more careful about what I let seep into those spaces and margins.

3) Serendipity: The state of mind whereby a person through awareness and sensitivity frequently finds something better than what he was seeking. I do not have to define myself as either a structured or spontaneous person--serendipity allows me to find a little bit of both.

4) What IS our family motto? What values do I most want my children to identify with?

I want my kids to: work hard/manage resources; behave; and have a strong sense of identity and belonging.

5) Spectacular achievement is preceded by unspectacular preparation.

6) There is no growth in the comfort zone.

7) Our family traditions should reflect our motto, values, and what we want our kids to become.

Lastly, I feel grateful for a bit of new enlightenment.

Being a mom is wonderful, but it can also be overwhelmingly difficult, emotional, and at times even a bitter disappointment and place of frustration. I love that quote by Eleanor Roosevelt who stated, "There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women." I truly believe that the learning circles created by these women at "Power of Moms" are inspired by God. We have to be able to teach what we know, understand, AND feel to each other. It's the only way we are going to be able to get through it.

Unbroken

I know that not all of you are on Goodreads.com--so I am posting this to the blog to make sure that you don't miss this incredible book. I give it 5 stars. Here is my review:

MUST READ! This is clearly a well-researched and extremely well-written book. Hillenbrand created a vivid picture of each character which made this book equally heartbreaking and gut-wrenching, but ultimately a book that will forever change your view of Pacific airmen.

I couldn't stop thinking about how little I ever asked my own grandfather about his experiences as a pilot. I also wish that I knew which kind of plane he flew (cousins, please email me if you know). Absolutely fascinating. Miraculous that anyone survived--and in the end I do believe that God did spare many of their lives (in more than just physical ways).

And the sharks. I just simply cannot imagine the intensity of the sharks. I am not over it. I wish that I had someone to gape with regarding the sharks! not.over.it.

I am also unresolved regarding the final outcome of many of the Japanese POW officers. I will save my comments for the book club, but this will require some personal resolution....also, the atomic bomb. Devastating, but by the time the war is over--after reading this perspective--I will never view such a drastic end in such a critical way. I cried in this section of the book out of sheer relief for those prisoners. I was so grateful for the shocking destruction.

This should be required reading for humanity's sake.